lb_lee: M.D. making a shocked, confused face (serious thought)
So, while researching our childhood neighborhood, we ran across an archive of the old neighborhood newsletter, going back to 2010.

Most of it is basically what we remember--babysitting, Lawn of the Month, classifieds, neighborhood events, water rationing and fire safety... and then there's some weird stuff.  Mostly of the "Suburban Gothic" variety, but some honestly just strange.  Skimming a year and a half of this newsletter for photos, I learned...
  • There are adults in our neighborhood who would chase teenagers in their car for knocking over trash cans.  And have a car chase with the kids until the cops came.  And then be called a superhero.
  • Somebody killed a deer with a crossbow.  And just... left the deer to run and die. (The newsletter reminded everyone that the neighborhood was not a hunting zone and to be nice to the animals.)
  • The turtles in the pond get blamed for everything.  Everything.
  • Somebody got murdered and their body got dumped in the park, but don't worry guys, he wasn't one of the neighbors!  The neighborhood remains safe!  It's all good! (The turtles were not responsible.)
  • People have very, VERY passionate feelings about who exactly is allowed to use the pool and basketball court. (The pool is now open to folks only with a keycard, which is just the strangest thing ever to me.  I mean, I understand that this is a thing that happens, but really, were there truly that many people sneaking into the pool for nefarious purposes?)
  • Texas is apparently God's country.
  • People really want those turtles GONE.  Nobody knows where they came from.  Nobody knows why their population skyrocketed so.  But nobody wants the turtles.  The turtles have taken over.  They're not even snappers or anything, just your usual red-ears, so I'm not sure what people's beef is with them.
I am left with the assurance that the Homeowners Association is just as strange a beast as I suspected.

lb_lee: M.D. making a shocked, confused face (serious thought)
What is this?

Okay, how can I summarize this.  Someone wants to make a movie out of a self-published book.  Somehow gets the idea that if they game the New York Times Bestseller List to get the #1 spot, they will get a movie deal, starring herself as the protagonist.  A lot of money gets thrown around, a Potemkin publisher is set up to give this book the slightest lacquer of legitimacy, bulk orders are made at New York Times-reporting stores to game the system, nobody actually buys this book... oh, and actors from Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, American Pie, and Twilight are involved.

Plus some bands.

I swear to god, this is the craziest thing I've seen in a while involving book publishing.  What on earth even is this.

Some intrepid newshounds are on the case, updating as new info comes in.

I don't even know what to make of this.

lb_lee: The Blue Beetle, Ted Kord, doubled over laughing. From Justice League International #7 (bwa-hah-ha)

Okay, so I went to good ol’ Windows Media Player to play some Queen music, and it automatically shows the album covers.  Most of them are correct.

And then I got… this.

This is a picture of an album cover in bright rainbow covers of robots.  It is NOT a Queen album cover.

…the fuck?

This is the album cover zoomed in on.  It is STILL not a Queen album cover.

Zoomed in again.  DEFINITELY not a Queen album cover.

…that is not a Queen album cover.  That is an MSpaint drawing our younger brother did of him dancing with a robot with his hed pastede on yay to C3PO’s body.

I don’t know what bothers me more: that this is apparently what my computer thinks is the album cover for ‘Under Pressure’ or that I CAN’T FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIND THE REAL IMAGE.  I want an MSpaint picture of my brother dancing with a robot, goddammit!

Obviously I need to resign now.  Our brother is obviously the TRUE artist in the family.
lb_lee: Raige making a horrified face. (D:)
We are a little infamous among our friend's circle for hanging on to old laptops.  Obsolete is from 1998, and has retired, being used only for word processing and MSDOS games.  BSOD, the workhorse computer that has produced and held all works of art and stories that you have seen thus far, is a Dell Inspiron from 2005.  I can't complain about its performance; it runs all the things I need it to, and while videos lag and new games are a no-go, I see it as keeping distractions from my workspace.

But now it has started trolling us, with the strangest assortment of audio problems I have ever seen.

It started mundanely enough: turning our audio off on three separate occasions, in two entirely different ways, both easily fixed once chased down.  Peculiar, but not particularly strange.

Then it started getting weird.  I'm listening to music on Windows Media Player, and suddenly, BSOD decided of its own volition to create an enormous random playlist of totally unrelated songs.  I didn't click anything.  It just did it.

Now, today, I was working, drawing, scanning, and manipping, listening to the Cabaret soundtrack, when suddenly, at the same time, my computer starts playing what sounds like freakin' police radio.

I do not own any audio or video files with anything like that.  My Internet wasn't in use.  And it wasn't coming outside; it was very clearly coming through my headphones.

I stop playing Cabaret.  The police radio continues for another five seconds or so, then stops, again, all on its own.

Guys.  I think this computer is possessed.  Seriously, what do you even DO in this situation?

lb_lee: The Blue Beetle, Ted Kord, doubled over laughing. From Justice League International #7 (bwa-hah-ha)
we had a GLORIOUS experience at prom.  Which is funny, since at the time, I didn't want to go.  However, my system devised an ingenious way of getting my enthusiastic participation: I'd get to go in boy drag.

The glorious tale of Loony-Brain's prom... complete with photo! )
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, surrounded by a circle and the words LB Lee. (bitchplz)
I just got to write about how for the sake of gender equality, I would indeed draw sexy lumberjacks.  You know, FOR THE MOVEMENT!

I love being me.

lb_lee: A pencil drawing of Mac and Rogan canoodling with a little heart above their heads. (love)
Just because a railroad track is rusted, overgrown with plant life, and has parts of the rusted rail splitting off from disrepair, does not mean that a train won't come down it while you are walking said track.

If you are stupid enough to get caught on the so-not-abandoned railway tracks, please try not to do so when the only escape is waist-deep underbrush that covers you in sap and burrs.

And if this happens to you, don't be married to Mac, who will point and laugh at you for the rest of the day.

That is all.


PS from Mac: and then Ro nearly stepped on a snake.  Best anniversary!
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, surrounded by a circle and the words LB Lee. (i am a man)
Today, naturalists observed this fascinating ritual between two homo sapiens, on encountering each other within their territory:

Rogan: *flails arms* RAAAAAAAAAR!
Darwin: *flails arms* YIIIIIIIII!
Rogan: Okay, thank you, I feel better now.
Darwin: I'm glad.

Truly, the human being is a communicative species, reaching the apex of linguistic expression.
lb_lee: M.D. making a shocked, confused face (serious thought)
Casa Loony-Brain, AKA The House of Blues/the Loonybin, is a good house. It's about a hundred years old, an improbable shade of blue, and the rent is obscenely cheap, considering that everything works. We have laundry in the basement and everything. However...

No big deal, right? WRONG. In which our landlord blows a fuse and gets electrocuted. )
lb_lee: M.D. making a shocked, confused face (serious thought)
Holly Pervocracy blogged about us!


*runs around flailing*

lb_lee: M.D. making a shocked, confused face (serious thought)
Educational lesson of today: bats can swim.

How was this discovered?  During lunch break at work, walking around, and watching a bat swim out of the reservoir.  In broad daylight. Sneak's been thinking of it as Lenny the Aquabat.

Little fucker was a pretty good swimmer too.  Seriously, the thing was like, the size of a deck of cards, and it moved at a surprising clip.  This wasn't just wild, panicked thrashing, either; that bat was really swimming--so smoothly, in fact, that at first we assumed it was a duckling. According to the other lady (yes, we just stood there watching a bat swim, what do you do on your lunch break?) the bat was flying around, skimming the water, and then apparently decided to drop into the water of its own volition.

Lenny the Aquabat seemed remarkably unperturbed about its sudden bath and then just crawled under a rock, presumably to take a nap after the swim.

Bats are now even more awesome than previously thought.
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, surrounded by a circle and the words LB Lee. (guy gardner)
So, me and Mac were walking by the used bookstore when we saw an unusual sight: one of the employees carrying out a stack of books, and methodically ripping off the covers and tossing them into the Dumpster.

Naturally, our first impulse was, "Books being tattered?  What blasphemy is this?" Then we found out that apparently there are books so past their expiration date even Recycled Books or the Salvation Army has no use for them.  We asked if we could have a couple, employee said sure, why not.

Which is why we now have Charles and Frances Hunter's How to make your Marriage Exciting, circa 1975.  The cover is an attractive shade of hot pink, with heart shaped rainbows.  It is a Christian book about Christian marriage.

And it is EPIC.  Here, have the back cover blurb.

[from Frances]

"When God made us one, He gave us the right to the greatest happiness in the world.

Is it Cheetoes?  Is it self-discovery?  No!

There is no beauty or happiness on earth that compares with a marriage that God made and keeps.


"Every single BE in the book goes right back to what the Bible says: Love does not insist on its own way."

Except when it comes to those damn socks on the radiator.  Those socks must go!

[From Charles]

"All the love Frances and I share started by love flowing through Christ Jesus.

Mac: I love my threesomes with Jesus.

That was the only thing we had in common as we began to get acquainted.  If women would only realize that even though we men are the 'strong' ones in the family, we need, want and thrive on consideration from the 'weaker' ones."

We are so having this read at our wedding.  IT MUST BE DONE.

EDIT: Here's the cover; it's brighter in real life.

lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, surrounded by a circle and the words LB Lee. (woohoo)
Mac has an interview at the sextoy shop on Wednesday; they got back to him in less than 24 hours.  Wish him luck!  He needs good vibes! (no pun intended) He has to do a five-minute presentation on anything.  His plan: be so frickin amazing that they can't NOT hire him.

We're doing a test for a student next week who apparently swears and switches personalities when under high strain. (It's a high-level physics test.) Our boss asked if this would be a problem.  We said, "I think I can deal with that."

And Sneak made this sculpture AGES ago.  It has only now been uploaded.  Enjoy!


May. 15th, 2008 12:28 am
lb_lee: M.D. making a shocked, confused face (serious thought)
Wow!  There's golfball sized hail pounding down!  I thought a tree was falling until I turned on the lights and saw all the cracking and crashing was the hail hitting the roof and the flowerpots and stuff.

And it was ninety-five earlier this week.  Go figure.
lb_lee: M.D. making a shocked, confused face (serious thought)
So, earlier today, I needed to wash my sheets and tie-dye comfortor and dumped them into the washer.  Of course, since I didn't wash any clothes (didn't need to) I completely forgot about them.

This evening, I realize with horror that somebody's probably dumped my wet laundry in the corner to make room for their stuff.  I come back to the laundry room, and not only did somebody pop my bedclothes into the drier, they paid for drying, took them out, folded them neatly, and put them on the counter for whenever I got there.

Wow.  Hey, thanks anonymous person.  I really appreciate that.
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