This post is grahamlore's fault and you should blame them.

So, for professional reasons, I found myself reading Frederick Hodges's "The Ideal Prepuce in Ancient Greece and Rome: Male Genital Aesthetics and Their Relation to Lipodermos, Circumcision, Foreskin Restoration, and the Kynodesme", and it proved fascinating reading, because man, the Greeks were the JUDGIEST BITCHES about foreskins.

( I hope you're ready to read about foreskins! Ancient Greco-Roman body shaming and antisemitism behind the cut, but this is overwhelmingly a very silly post. )

 Mori: I was digging around in my '98 laptop for records reasons and... guys. Preinstalled on it is a whole slew of MIDI files of classical music, including Fur Elise, Clair de Lune, and In the Hall of the Mountain King. It's putrid. I can't stop listening to it. It is a thing of awe and horror, distilled into '90s computer game audio format.

When I started playing it, Bob dashed in like Pavlov's dog hearing a dinner bell.

We're just all grouped around Obsolete, listening with expressions of astonishment and pity as it does its damnedest to sing its little pre-Y2k heart out through its speakers. I might have to save these to a floppy disk and use them as phone alarms or something.

I am baffled as to why this antique still runs as well as it does.

EDIT: OH LORD IT HAS BACH'S BRANDENBURG CONCERTO

Mori: I'm reading John Hench's Designing Disney: Imagineering and the art of the Show. Thus far, it's mostly hype-committeed within an inch of its life, but then I found the following subchapter heading on page 50:

The Beckoning Hand: The Wienie

( My only regret is I don't have an appropriate photograph of Walt Disney eating a hot dog to end this post with. )