Amish Wizard

Some smartphone door-to-door salesmen were going around my neighborhood a few days ago, but they made the terrible mistake of getting me at the door, and I easily banished them with the words, "I don't have a smartphone."

Later that day, as I was hauling my laundry for washing, I encountered the salesman again, along with their colleague, both of whom looked to be young, in their early twenties. The one who hadn't encountered me complimented my "necklace," which I said, "Oh, it's a compass!"

"What, really? Can I see?"

"Yup!"

I opened the compass, dazzling both young sellers. They very well may have never seen a compass before in real life.

"Can you really use that?"

"Yup! I use it with maps so I don't get lost!"

"Like, on paper? YOU CAN READ A PAPER MAP???"

At which point the one who'd encountered me said, "They don't have a smartphone either!"

"REALLY?!"

With a flourish, I whipped out my dumbphone and flipped it open. The two salespeople watched as though I had done a magic trick, utterly enchanted, staring at me like I was some kind of Amish wizard. I should've bowed.

So now we and the salespeople are on good terms. ...they probably won't try to sell to us again.