Amish Wizard

[lb_lee]

Some smartphone door-to-door salesmen were going around my neighborhood a few days ago, but they made the terrible mistake of getting me at the door, and I easily banished them with the words, "I don't have a smartphone."

Later that day, as I was hauling my laundry for washing, I encountered the salesman again, along with their colleague, both of whom looked to be young, in their early twenties. The one who hadn't encountered me complimented my "necklace," which I said, "Oh, it's a compass!"

"What, really? Can I see?"

"Yup!"

I opened the compass, dazzling both young sellers. They very well may have never seen a compass before in real life.

"Can you really use that?"

"Yup! I use it with maps so I don't get lost!"

"Like, on paper? YOU CAN READ A PAPER MAP???"

At which point the one who'd encountered me said, "They don't have a smartphone either!"

"REALLY?!"

With a flourish, I whipped out my dumbphone and flipped it open. The two salespeople watched as though I had done a magic trick, utterly enchanted, staring at me like I was some kind of Amish wizard. I should've bowed.

So now we and the salespeople are on good terms. ...they probably won't try to sell to us again.

Comments

[witchpoetdreamer]

LOLLL okay that encounter sounds delightful, with one thing of exception: door to door smartphone salesmen are a thing??????

[lb_lee]

APPARENTLY! I'd never encountered them before, it was weird! I honestly suspected it might be a scam, thus why I went straight to, "I don't own a smartphone." The vast majority of phone plans and sales stuff become irrelevant the moment I say that, unless they're specifically selling to old people.

[witchpoetdreamer]

It's definitely a good way to avoid them!

[foggerss]

Sunny: I would be dumbfounded too if I saw a compass in real life, in front of my very eyes to be honest. I don't even know where one would get a compass, that's pretty cool!

[lb_lee]

Sneak: A friend gave it to us when we were traveling! It's an old Boy Scout compass from their father! It makes me feel like a Studio Ghibli heroine when I wear it around my neck and lots of people compliment it!

[foggerss]

Oh cool!

[incorrecthorse]

we're surprised at the surprise about specifically paper maps. they aren't any different from digital maps, what's there to read??? sure some people probably can't read any map but then they can't read any map...

[incorrecthorse]

our best guess is that they perhaps somehow never noticed the map part of any digital map apps... despite them literally being map apps....

[dismallyoriented]

My understanding is they lack the ability to orient themselves on the map - google maps stuff highlights the road for you, GPS automates the orientation by only ever showing the stretch of map immediately relevant to your location. It's in the same conceptual bin as reading an analog clock - it's legible, but you have to practice the skills of reading it to stay fluent and quick. And for those who don't learn and never had the chance to practice bc it wasn't a necessity, it stays illegible

[lb_lee]

Mori: We have the opposite problem, we get so mad when the digital map keeps turning around, because we're like "NO NORTH IS UP EVERYONE KNOWS THIS STOPPIT."

Biff (translated from back): Man, phone screens are TINY, you can't SEE anything on them, paper maps you can SEE everything!

[lb_lee]

Sneak: I think maybe they just rely on the GPS's verbal instructions telling them where to go? I don't know, because we never were able to use those ourself! (Even when we had Snitchbrick, map drained its battery SO drastically that it was basically unusable.)

[cheliceri]

I now want a description of your compass.
We’re not good at reading them, as most of the time compasses aren’t accessible, but at one point our O&M teacher brought a Braille compass and let us borrow it for a night. We spent hours thinking we’d broken it because we failed to open it all the way to make the plate lock.

[wolffyluna]

Oh, someone else who has been betrayed by a difficult to open compass! I once got sent off by work with a compass to go out somewhere in the bush, and it was only once I arrived there that I realised I did not know how to open that compass.

[pantha]

Ok, now I want a compass-necklace. How cool! <3