Snowflakes and Raindrops

[lb_lee]

Mori: that weeklong headache, the worst part of it was, it tended to hit (or get worse) at night. Nothing worked, not ibuprofen, not ice packs, nothing. It was the PITS.

Anyway, Rawlin (who still has a funky sleep schedule and does regular headspace rounds during the witching hours) found me at 6 AM with my face in the spring because nothing else was working and I couldn’t think of anything else to try but to have an episode and hope that worked. (Never mind that having episodes when you’re half-asleep is a terrible idea; I hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in a week and I felt like I had a boat hook in my eye socket.)

Rawlin saw me burbling miserably, fished me out of the spring (“leave me here to diiiiie”) and took me back to the den, where she plopped me down on my stomach and said she was going to give me snowflakes and raindrops.

“Snowflakes,” it turned out, was drumming lightly on my back with her fingertips (well, claw cap tips if you want to be precise) like snowflakes were falling on my back. “Raindrops” was lightly dragging her fingertips down my back, like rain sliding down a windowpane. I have to assume she did this when I was a kid, even if I don’t remember it.

Miraculously, it worked. The migraine faded to sleepable levels and I went back to sleep.

We’ve known for ages that headmate touch has powerful effects on us, but it was only within the past year or so that we realized that this was a recognized thing with corporeal touch, and ergo, headmate touch affects us much the same as the corporeal kind. For ages, we were so stumped and kept hitting this stupid cognitive wall of “but that’s not possible because it’s not corporeal.” Nope! Turns out it has the same effects that turn up in corporeal studies... and we’re even finding (very scant) reference to this happening elsewhere to others. We keep meaning to make a post on it but haven’t been able to yet. So I guess this post is a start.

Totally going to put these learnings into Multi Moregasmic though! (Which it looks like I’m contributing to. Mac is so happy.

Comments

[minoanmiss]

*sends soothing vibes*

[lb_lee]

Don't worry, the headache (FINALLY) went away, which is why we're doing all our work catch-up stuff now!

[ursapancakes]

That's so sweet!! <3 We've always (? at least for a while) had the sort of synaesthesia where seeing someone else be touched (even just a picture) can make us feel like we are being touched (though, now I bring it up, I don't know that we've had that experience without actively trying to in a while... perhaps it has ebbed a bit). Maybe there are studies on mirror-touch synaesthesia that are relevant for this?

[lb_lee]

Mori: It’d seem relevant! And the response can be at least somewhat trained, like in the rubber hand illusion. ASMR seems to be all about using this for fun and relaxation purposes!

(Also, thanks again for getting us those Aussie comics! They’re in the sci-fi library now for all to enjoy!)

[ursapancakes]

(Of course! Sorry about PMs not working; I truly have no idea how we did that -_-)

[sorcyress]

I was having a kinda shit night last night, and it was a good reminder that both Gabe and Alis can and will touch me when I need. Sitting curled up with Alis draping arms around me and Gabe resting his forehead on mine was real good.

(Usually the touch is just dancing. I learned later that Zaphod knows how to polka, but not particularly well. It was very charming to do so with him.)

~Sor, et al

[lb_lee]

We have written in our “little book” guide to life “do you need a hug? You can get one, you know!” We get grumpy about being caught out but it’s not wrong.

[phoenix_council]

Just got me trying this on the corporeal body, and wow, does it feel good. Headmate touch is a huge way we interact with each other. Hugs, handholding, holding the smalls in our arms or on our shoulders, they're such an integral part of our experience. We've also been doing some reading on somatic therapy, specifically Body-First Healing by Brittany Piper, and it's led to us processing some stuck physical trauma reactions that aren't the typical memory work/narrative memory work. And part of that has been compassionate touch to folks with the corporeal body. We can kinda split who's controlling which parts of the body, so it's possible to do things like hold someone, hold hands, or wipe their tears, which also really helps. And I think it's helping? Our face isn't drooping and our eye opens wider than it used to, our hip seems to be staying in a more normal place, and our right side feels less tense. But also, jury is out, it's only been a couple weeks and we haven't gotten through the whole book yet.

[lb_lee]

If you’re interested in other somatic therapy stuff, Staci Haines’ “Healing Sex” is also very good! Lots of good body stuff in there. We seem to need both vessel AND body touch for full happiness, but we’re still figuring it all out.

[phoenix_council]

We've heard of it, generally haven't explored it yet cuz very ace. Mostly so far it's been helpful for releasing stuck energy from physical injuries that didn't register as "traumatic" or didn't seem to have an associated memory chunk, but still showed evidence in our physical body. Like the hip popping from falling on it 15+ years ago, didn't register as "traumatic" necessarily, but there was a bit of interrupted reaction there that kept things on high alert there. It's helped with memory chunk work too, not having to go full flashback to release the emotions and story, but tbh, the

[nightforest]

I read at some point that even "imagined" touch (which I feel could reasonably be considered to include the non-corporeal touch of headmates, since there ain't anybody out there scientifically studying plurals this way AFAIK) can have beneficial effects. No idea where I originally saw this, but a quick internet search turned up this study, which you may have also already found, but just in case:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022103116302013

It seems to be focused on imagined touch being more effective than other kinds of imagined support, such as verbal, but the fact that it has a measurable positive effect, period, really interested me.

Anyway, so glad Rawlin could help with your poor head!

~Elle