More Robert Yeung: Christianity and Forgiveness

[lb_lee]

I know I just posted about Yeung, but I just found his Christianity and Forgiveness posts (here's the second) and now I'm linking it to my intro zine because it's that important and relevant: the idea of predators who twist and abuse forgiveness to perpetrate more violence. Although he discusses it in a DID frame of reference, I can think of singlet readers on this blog who would find them equally useful for their own situations!

I wish I had found Yeung's posts about that ages ago! I am going to be linking the shit out of this because it comes up so often!

Comments

[starfallhaven]

Boy howdy this sure does make me feel some kind of way about my dad's family and my mom's insistence on me still talking to them and going to their get-togethers. (She's very much coming at it from a 'forgiveness is always the goal' that comes with being Very Christian.) -Artemis

[lb_lee]

Rogan: Trying to explain the unconditional forgiveness mindset (where "forgiveness" means never discussing the matter or doing anything to prevent it again) to people from outside that culture is a TRIP, I tell you.

[wolfy_writing]

Yeah, I've heard that kind of mindset about forgiveness from a lot of people. And sometimes it's at least nominally secularized as a For Your Own Good thing where you're told that not forgiving will poison you and doom you to misery.

[lb_lee]

OMG I HATE THAT VERSION SO MUCH

I mean, "forgive or you're being unchristian" is bad enough, but "forgive or YOU WILL BE MISERABLE FOREVER" is just the most paggro thing ever!

[the_broken_tower]

Weirdly relevant to why Kama and some others have been running into issues with spiritual work. When you've been gaslit, minimized, and dismissed to hell - and done all of those things to yourself - letting go runs counter to what's kept you safe. If the situation is shitty, recognising you shouldn't tolerate mistreatment and have the agency to change your situation is really important.

Hell, one of the ways people dealt with the ex-roommates while living with them was choosing love and compassion over anger/hate. It stopped people from escalating from our end or taking bait, which would have made the situation exponentially worse. But it did not stop those roommates from abusing people.

And it didn't stop abuse any other time. It's not a solution all by itself. It doesn't solve the problem of boundaries being violated or something happening that isn't okay. It doesn't help boundaries get repaired or sooth the things that are still hurting.

Trying to look at mainstream spirituality can be really mindfuck-y, coming from an abusive situation. It needs to be recontextualized/reapproached.

- Achilleus (he/him)

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

Useful, and I boosted the signal.

[wolffyluna]

Thank you for sharing this resource, it's very helpful for naming some dynamics I've encountered.