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lb_leeMori: for catharsis and the good of us all, I’m fuckin MSTing Trumpy’s grand, glorious action of declaring the anniversary of the services he wishes to destroy. You’re welcome.
EDIT: I just highlights all the lies or highly misleading statements in red. This is an MST, not a fact-check.
”90TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE SOCIAL SECURITY ACT
“Proclamations
“August 14, 2025
“By the President of the United States of America
Never has a man tried so hard to get credit for homework someone else did and which he is in the process of shredding.
“On August 14, 1935, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed into law the Social Security Act”
Aw, look, he got the date right! Good job, speechwriter, couldn’t have done it without you!
“— a monumental legislative achievement that protects our seniors, uplifts our citizens, and sustains the livelihoods of hardworking Americans who devoted their professions to bettering our country.”
Not like you cripples, orphans, widows, and children! I’M COMING FOR YOU BITCHES, AIN’T NO FRANCES PERKINS TO STOP ME NOW!
“On the 90th anniversary of the establishment of this historic program, I recommit to always defending Social Security,”
It’s too late for that, buddy! To recommit, you gotta BE committed in the first place, and clearly they ain’t never hospitalizing your runny ass!
“rewarding the men and women who make our country prosperous,”
Who I’ve fired and laid off in countless numbers!
“and taking care of our own workers, families, seniors, and citizens first.”
CRIPPLES, ORPHANS, AND WIDOWS LAST! CRIPPLES, ORPHANS, AND WIDOWS LAST!
“To this day, Social Security is rooted in a simple promise: those who gave their careers to building our Nation will always have the support, stability, and relief they deserve.”
Lemme tell you about Frances Perkins, the first woman in the Cabinet (whose name we will always remember because the protagonist is named after her in Dirty Dancing, which is Mac’s favorite movie). She came up with the idea of Social Security after seeing workers jump to their deaths out of tenth story windows to escape a factory fire, because the bosses done locked all the emergency doors on ‘em so they couldn’t take a break. Women like them built America’s wealth, and they never got to collect SS because it didn’t exist and also their bosses got them killed to protect their bottom line. But apparently the 1920s were a more civilized time, and back then, the government actually cared enough to do something about it!
Trumpy may be a factory boss. But he sure ain’t no Frances Perkins.
“Thanks to my Administration’s efforts, Social Security now stands stronger and more resilient than ever before.”
Citation: the Institute of My Ass. You’d be amazed how much shit I can just pull outta there!
“Following the passage of the historic One Big Beautiful Bill last month,”
A turd of truly elephantine proportions, so big even my ass couldn’t squeeze it out alone; I needed Congress to help me!
“the vast majority of seniors who receive Social Security will pay zero tax on their Social Security benefits — the largest tax break for seniors in the history of our country.”
Spoiler: they ALREADY paid zero taxes on their bennies. Little shit still trying to steal credit for work he is trying to undo! Wow, what a turd magician, pulling so much shit out of thin air like that! Where does he keep it all, up his sleeves? Does he fart smoke and conjure vanity mirrors?!
“To further strengthen Social Security, my Administration is aggressively rooting out all fraud, waste, and abuse that rob our Federal programs of resources —“
WIDOWS AND ORPHANS, WIDOWS AND ORPHANS! COME AND GETCHER CRIPPLES, WIDOWS, AND ORPHANS!
“including stopping payments to the deceased”
A common problem! Why, Trump himself done been collecting for years and he’s a vampire!
“and eliminating benefits for those who do not legally qualify.”
(Widows and orphans, widows and orphans, never forget your cripples, widows, and orphans! Man, when a two-thousand year old book about a dead Jew who hates figs cares more than you do, you KNOW it’s bad!)
“These measures will save American taxpayers billions of dollars every year and ensure that future generations receive the benefits they spent their lives paying into.”
Just as long as they’re that mythical beast who always works, was never infirm, never a child, never a mother. You know, I think I read about a guy like that... who was it... oh yeah! Boxer from Animal Farm! Now, whatever happened to him...
“At the same time, I am making the Social Security Administration more efficient, more responsive, and more effective than ever before — reducing wait times and delivering the payments the American people worked hard to earn.”
You better have worked hard to own it, buddy! Have we accented that enough? Frances Perkins didn’t work her ass off into the Cabinet just to feed disabled homeless orphaned children that scum up our streets, you know!
“I am also proudly restoring strong border security policies to ensure that Medicare and Social Security are preserved for the citizens who paid into them — not abused by illegal aliens who have no right to be here.“
It’s true. I’m from Venus and I been sucking up all y’all’s benefits (and cows) for years! YOU CANNOT RETIRE BECAUSE OF ME, MWAHAHA! And once I’ve stolen every single beefsteak in the country, THEN I’m gonna scrub your floors, cook your food, and pick your crops... including YOURS, Trump! Just try running your precious Mar-A-Gogo without us!
“On this 90th anniversary of the Social Security Act, we recognize the countless contributions of every American senior who has invested their time, talent, and resources into our Nation’s future.”
Please, sir, you’re too subtle! It’s killing me! WHAT exactly do I need to be to deserve my hots and cot? I NEED YOU TO TELL ME LOUDER I CANNOT HEAR YOU SIR!
“On this momentous milestone, we recommit to strengthening our retirement system, protecting programs like Social Security and Medicare against fraud and abuse,”
(Widows and orphans)
“and ensuring that every future generation of American citizens has the income security they need and earned.”
Now, if you’ll please excuse me, I’m gonna go play golf with my balls, lick my stupid expensive jet, and piss on the floor of that giant fancy ballroom I’m making out of the White House. Remember, work hard and make good choices!
“NOW, THEREFORE, I, DONALD J. TRUMP, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim August 14, 2025, as the 90th Anniversary of the Social Security Act.”
Thank goodness you’re here, Donny, imagine if you weren’t here to make the anniversary! Calendars would stop! All time would end! Funny, though, I thought Father Time was bearded...
“IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this
fourteenth day of August, in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty-five, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and fiftieth.”
The formatting error (theirs, not mine) is just the cherry atop this shit cake.
Who would’ve thought one man could poop out so much shit! He makes the Piss Christ guy look like a small-timer! Let’s see how much slips out his cuffs as he walks out! Give him a round of applause, folks! He really strained for us today!
EDIT: I just highlights all the lies or highly misleading statements in red. This is an MST, not a fact-check.
”90TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE SOCIAL SECURITY ACT
“Proclamations
“August 14, 2025
“By the President of the United States of America
Never has a man tried so hard to get credit for homework someone else did and which he is in the process of shredding.
“On August 14, 1935, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed into law the Social Security Act”
Aw, look, he got the date right! Good job, speechwriter, couldn’t have done it without you!
“— a monumental legislative achievement that protects our seniors, uplifts our citizens, and sustains the livelihoods of hardworking Americans who devoted their professions to bettering our country.”
Not like you cripples, orphans, widows, and children! I’M COMING FOR YOU BITCHES, AIN’T NO FRANCES PERKINS TO STOP ME NOW!
“On the 90th anniversary of the establishment of this historic program, I recommit to always defending Social Security,”
It’s too late for that, buddy! To recommit, you gotta BE committed in the first place, and clearly they ain’t never hospitalizing your runny ass!
“rewarding the men and women who make our country prosperous,”
Who I’ve fired and laid off in countless numbers!
“and taking care of our own workers, families, seniors, and citizens first.”
CRIPPLES, ORPHANS, AND WIDOWS LAST! CRIPPLES, ORPHANS, AND WIDOWS LAST!
“To this day, Social Security is rooted in a simple promise: those who gave their careers to building our Nation will always have the support, stability, and relief they deserve.”
Lemme tell you about Frances Perkins, the first woman in the Cabinet (whose name we will always remember because the protagonist is named after her in Dirty Dancing, which is Mac’s favorite movie). She came up with the idea of Social Security after seeing workers jump to their deaths out of tenth story windows to escape a factory fire, because the bosses done locked all the emergency doors on ‘em so they couldn’t take a break. Women like them built America’s wealth, and they never got to collect SS because it didn’t exist and also their bosses got them killed to protect their bottom line. But apparently the 1920s were a more civilized time, and back then, the government actually cared enough to do something about it!
Trumpy may be a factory boss. But he sure ain’t no Frances Perkins.
“Thanks to my Administration’s efforts, Social Security now stands stronger and more resilient than ever before.”
Citation: the Institute of My Ass. You’d be amazed how much shit I can just pull outta there!
“Following the passage of the historic One Big Beautiful Bill last month,”
A turd of truly elephantine proportions, so big even my ass couldn’t squeeze it out alone; I needed Congress to help me!
“the vast majority of seniors who receive Social Security will pay zero tax on their Social Security benefits — the largest tax break for seniors in the history of our country.”
Spoiler: they ALREADY paid zero taxes on their bennies. Little shit still trying to steal credit for work he is trying to undo! Wow, what a turd magician, pulling so much shit out of thin air like that! Where does he keep it all, up his sleeves? Does he fart smoke and conjure vanity mirrors?!
“To further strengthen Social Security, my Administration is aggressively rooting out all fraud, waste, and abuse that rob our Federal programs of resources —“
WIDOWS AND ORPHANS, WIDOWS AND ORPHANS! COME AND GETCHER CRIPPLES, WIDOWS, AND ORPHANS!
“including stopping payments to the deceased”
A common problem! Why, Trump himself done been collecting for years and he’s a vampire!
“and eliminating benefits for those who do not legally qualify.”
(Widows and orphans, widows and orphans, never forget your cripples, widows, and orphans! Man, when a two-thousand year old book about a dead Jew who hates figs cares more than you do, you KNOW it’s bad!)
“These measures will save American taxpayers billions of dollars every year and ensure that future generations receive the benefits they spent their lives paying into.”
Just as long as they’re that mythical beast who always works, was never infirm, never a child, never a mother. You know, I think I read about a guy like that... who was it... oh yeah! Boxer from Animal Farm! Now, whatever happened to him...
“At the same time, I am making the Social Security Administration more efficient, more responsive, and more effective than ever before — reducing wait times and delivering the payments the American people worked hard to earn.”
You better have worked hard to own it, buddy! Have we accented that enough? Frances Perkins didn’t work her ass off into the Cabinet just to feed disabled homeless orphaned children that scum up our streets, you know!
“I am also proudly restoring strong border security policies to ensure that Medicare and Social Security are preserved for the citizens who paid into them — not abused by illegal aliens who have no right to be here.“
It’s true. I’m from Venus and I been sucking up all y’all’s benefits (and cows) for years! YOU CANNOT RETIRE BECAUSE OF ME, MWAHAHA! And once I’ve stolen every single beefsteak in the country, THEN I’m gonna scrub your floors, cook your food, and pick your crops... including YOURS, Trump! Just try running your precious Mar-A-Gogo without us!
“On this 90th anniversary of the Social Security Act, we recognize the countless contributions of every American senior who has invested their time, talent, and resources into our Nation’s future.”
Please, sir, you’re too subtle! It’s killing me! WHAT exactly do I need to be to deserve my hots and cot? I NEED YOU TO TELL ME LOUDER I CANNOT HEAR YOU SIR!
“On this momentous milestone, we recommit to strengthening our retirement system, protecting programs like Social Security and Medicare against fraud and abuse,”
(Widows and orphans)
“and ensuring that every future generation of American citizens has the income security they need and earned.”
Now, if you’ll please excuse me, I’m gonna go play golf with my balls, lick my stupid expensive jet, and piss on the floor of that giant fancy ballroom I’m making out of the White House. Remember, work hard and make good choices!
“NOW, THEREFORE, I, DONALD J. TRUMP, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim August 14, 2025, as the 90th Anniversary of the Social Security Act.”
Thank goodness you’re here, Donny, imagine if you weren’t here to make the anniversary! Calendars would stop! All time would end! Funny, though, I thought Father Time was bearded...
“IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this
fourteenth day of August, in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty-five, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and fiftieth.”
The formatting error (theirs, not mine) is just the cherry atop this shit cake.
Who would’ve thought one man could poop out so much shit! He makes the Piss Christ guy look like a small-timer! Let’s see how much slips out his cuffs as he walks out! Give him a round of applause, folks! He really strained for us today!
no subject
Date: 2025-08-16 07:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-08-16 11:24 pm (UTC)So stopping survivor benefits to actual widows and orphans?
no subject
Date: 2025-08-17 03:31 am (UTC)...look im trying to come up w a death that's stupid enough i'm taking suggestions
no subject
Date: 2025-08-17 06:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-08-17 06:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-08-17 06:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-08-17 06:48 pm (UTC)Crow: Look at that, Tom! He spelled Roosevelt correctly.
Tom: Nah. He just fell asleep on the keyboard and his face hit the right buttons. Cambot, do we have a live feed on this?
Cambot: Pans out, showing the big orange Dumpster fire asleep on his fancy desk.
Social Security is rooted in a simple promise: those who gave their careers to building our Nation will always have the support, stability, and relief they deserve
Tom: But if you can’t work you’re a fucking loser.
Crow: Buddy, don’t you know it! We work, but still, we’ve been a loser since 1985 and the government just loves telling us all about it!
“These measures will save American taxpayers billions of dollars every year and ensure that future generations receive the benefits they spent their lives paying into “These measures will save American taxpayers billions of dollars every year and ensure that future generations receive the benefits they spent their lives paying into.
Crow: Which you will then suck up with your fucking greedy mitts.
Tom: Calm down, Crow! It can’t be that bad. Surely he’ll save something for the … No… I can’t.
GPC: Ooh what’s going on in here? I seem to smell burgers cooking.
Tom: It’s all right, GP. It’s just Trump’s grandiose proclamations as usual.
GPC: Oh damn. I was hungry and wanted burgers.
“I am also proudly restoring strong border security policies to ensure that Medicare and Social Security are preserved for the citizens who paid into them — not abused by illegal aliens who have no right to be here.
GPC: Rolling eyes: Your face is an illegal alien, you right-wing, morally bankrupt bully.
Crow: Woooo! But seriously, that sure is a turd.
Tom: Why does One Big Beautiful Bill sound like something you’d find as a horror movie in the .5 bin at Walmart?
Crow: You mean the things Pearl generally sends us to watch?
Tom: Shhhh. Don’t invoke her!
Cambot: -Pans out to show Trump twisting one of those fake groucho Marx moustaches, laughing maniacally.
Crow: I don’t think he has our best interests at heart.
Tom: No indeed.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-17 06:54 pm (UTC)-Crow
no subject
Date: 2025-08-17 08:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-08-17 08:23 pm (UTC)Mori: How could you say that, Crow????
no subject
Date: 2025-08-20 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-08-20 07:35 pm (UTC)