(no subject)

[lb_lee]

 Re: prior entry

Rogan: By the way, I chose to go public about all this because it seems a safe bet that at least a few people who will read it do, in fact, believe or have made public statements that people like me are child molesters, despite the obvious difference between raping kids and consensual sex between adults.

So on the one hand, I hope reading about the consequences of such shit will help those people reassess.

On the other, I despise being put on a pedestal as "one of the good multis." I loathe being used as a beating stick on others or as some sort of magic charm to avoid the necessary work of self-reflection and critical thinking, all based on a sanitized, incorrect image of who I am and what I do. This seems one of the most expedient ways to help destroy that image.

I keep wanting to go back and edit, try and express myself better, more cleanly, but the fact was: my roomy saw me as a child molester, so I had to move out extremely quickly, and now I'm likely to be paying a couple thousand in double rent and utilities. This roomy was not the right-wing fundy straight person people imagine in such situations; they were a leftist trans queer kinkster. They were, in fact, almost exactly the sort of demographic that used to follow me on tumblr, respecting me in public but loathing what I did in private.

And I am so angry about all of it.

Comments

[wolfy_writing]

I read both entries, and I wanted to say that I completely get what you're saying about people who conflate adult consensual kink with actual crimes, and it sucks that you're dealing with this. People can be not into whatever they're not into, but harassing someone out of their home for consensual adult activity isn't having a squick, it's Purity Culture shit that doesn't value actual people.

[lb_lee]

There's a straight line from the purity culture kicking off online adult content and me losing my housing; Patreon kicking out the babyfurs led me to mention it to my roomy, who got very nasty, leading me to go, "you're talking about me too." And, well... here I am.

Had Patreon not done that, I probably wouldn't have brought it up. I generally don't tell my roomies shit like that, even if they DO go fetish clubbing with me (which this one did).

I overestimated that roomy. Sad.

[wolfy_writing]

That really sucks. And it's sad that people like that don't look at what they're doing and go "Wait, if my goal is to protect people from harm, is this really what I want to be doing?"

[the_broken_tower]

Another lesson that everyone is capable of blindspots. Have met with more than a few people like this. :( However, blindspots are not license to run someone out of their house or practice selective ignorance...

Hopefully they do get a wake-up call and a thorough chewing out by their remaining roommates.

- Hyacinthus (he/him)

[lb_lee]

Well, they can stay in that once-beautiful Greek revival apartment and make friends with the mold and the rats.

Alas!

[ysabetwordsmith]

That really sucks.

But thinking about it, I'm not surprised. Communities that used to be mellow and tolerant -- the left, queers, fans, Pagans -- have become so judgmental and often vicious.

Re: Alas!

[lb_lee]

Clearly I need to make more creative work to contribute to changing that tide!

Re: Alas!

[ysabetwordsmith]

Yes, please!

I'm doing all I can do describe places that are better. People love reading about that. Sometimes they pick up ideas from my work and deploy them, like creating a quiet room or emotional first aid kit, which makes me very happy.

I write fantasy. And what do people fantasize about? Families who don't hurt each other, doctors who listen, jobs that make enough to live on. It makes local-Earth look pretty pathetic.

[minoanmiss]

And you should be angry because all of this is fucking ridiculous. You aren't perfect (I can't currently think of any of your faults but I'm sure you have some) nor should you have to be. You're human and people need to stop assuming that what weirds them out is necessarily dangerous let alone equivalent to evil. feh.

[lb_lee]

They couldn't even be bothered reading the first paragraph of the Wikipedia page, which explains all of this with citations! Glad I'm gone.

[tomato_greens]

ohhhh, that’s how it goes, isn’t it. secret puritanical judgment helps no one & only causes more harm. this is making me think of the essay “Hot Allostatic Load” - have you read it? it also speaks to this kind of dangerous judgment.

[lb_lee]

Oh yeah, I've read it. I've also read Dorothy Allison's accounts of getting trashed during the lesbian sex wars of 1982 for similar and even more trivial bullshit, which is a sad comfort to me.

The Internet may have made some forms of trashing easier, but the same rulebook's been in play for forty years.