lb_lee: An icon in shades of red and cream, showing a righteously angry coati screaming. (conflict coati)
[personal profile] lb_lee
Rogan: well, that was unpleasant. Warning: homo/transphobia, racism

So, we got a charmer on the bus home tonight. I could hear a voice in Douchebag Tones--you know, aggrieved, entitled, and aggressive--but was tuned out sending texts announcing me and Mac's anniversary party. I tuned in when I realized the bus had pulled over and been stopped for an unusually long time, and Douchebag Voice was ominously near.

Guy in front of me (NOT Douchebag voice, middle-aged black guy who radiated tired calm instead) gets up to talk to the driver, comes back. I ask him what's going on. He replies that Douchebag Voice (who I now see is a white guy with a Mexican-sounding accent, definitely not Spain Spanish) hasn't paid.

Douchebag Man starts monologing about how he's basically entitled to a free ride, insisting he is an aggrieved victim of the nefarious (black) bus driver. Calm Man explains calmly that the transit police have been called and he can't behave like that. Douchebag Man monologs about how all of us are his neighbors who will stand with him against evil bus driver.

At this point, I get sick of his shit. We clearly ain't moving till he pays or gets off the bus, and if he wasn't being so damn shitty I'd be willing to cover his fare, but no use rewarding that kind of nastiness. Other people in his vicinity, sensing trouble, start getting off entirely.

I tell Douchebag Man he's being a rude asshole, pay or get off. Which means he turns his attention on me. He monologs how we lesbian transgenders are out to convert little children by making them play naked together, that I'm trash, ruining the country, trying to make night into day or something, getting more and more worked up.

I keep eye contact. "And you're stuck on the bus with me," I say.

He tells me if I want to be a man so much, he'll treat me like one (i.e., beat me up). But the transit police have already been called and nobody's going to vouch for this douchebag if he smacks me around. Besides, guys who are going to beat you up don't monolog about doing it first on a city bus. So I tell him to leave, and he does, ranting slurs at the driver the whole way.

Calm Man goes up and speaks to the driver, persuades him to get moving again. When he comes back, I thank him for talking to the driver, apologizing for escalating the situation. He thanks me for getting Douchebag off the bus and tells me not to be ashamed: "God made us all the way we are. There's a place for all of us."

Thank you, Calm Man. I don't think I would've stood up to Douchebag if you hadn't first. And I DEFINITELY wouldn't have been able to calm the driver enough to keep going.

I have to admit, being called a child molester is new for me. Feel like I earned a queer merit badge, that there is OLD-SCHOOL homophobia there!

Date: 2023-07-12 04:20 am (UTC)
silvercat17: (Default)
From: [personal profile] silvercat17
I swear all the bigotry eventually cycles around to the same accusations.

But good for you!

Date: 2023-07-12 04:26 am (UTC)
the_broken_tower: (Default)
From: [personal profile] the_broken_tower
Yay you, and yay to Calm Man. :)

May Douchebag Man trip on every second stairstep he steps on.

- Cypress

Date: 2023-07-12 06:46 am (UTC)
minoanmiss: Naked young fisherman with his catch (Minoan Fisherman)
From: [personal profile] minoanmiss
You and the Calm Man are my heroes.

Date: 2023-07-12 11:37 am (UTC)
nevanna: (Default)
From: [personal profile] nevanna
I'm sorry that you had to deal with an asshole but proud of you for speaking up, and heartened to hear about your positive interaction with the other passenger! <3

Date: 2023-07-12 01:02 pm (UTC)
starfallhaven: (Gilbert)
From: [personal profile] starfallhaven
What's old is new again, they're back on that tired old trope. Very popular amongst transphobes right now.

Thank you calm man, and we're glad you got out of that safely. -Gilbert (he/him)

Date: 2023-07-12 02:18 pm (UTC)
storyheight: (mega lion PREPARED)
From: [personal profile] storyheight
fucking hell >:(

glad other good folks were able to set up a situation that y'all were able to handle when y' entered into it, and y'all were able to help, and got positive reinforcement for it too. [/probably too robotic a reply but i wanted to touch on at all the bits of it]
-kc

Date: 2023-07-13 09:00 am (UTC)
theraveyard: A little possum looking mischievous (Default)
From: [personal profile] theraveyard
The other wild part is that, in our experience, if you're nice? Normal, even, about not having the fare or your card not tapping? The bus driver will usually just let you on. That guy was super out of line. Makes me nervous to leave Cambridge next spring, outside the realm of the various 60/70s routes so many commuters are assholes.

-V
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