Yeah you really hit the nail on the head about the feelings. People have a right to do what they want and to integrate if that helps them, but its something that there is huge societal pressure to do so its not *really* a fully free choice for most people.
Simply existing is an uphill struggle against society, so anything that people see as an out is kind of already coercion a bit because of that.
We try so hard to be objective about integration when we write things about it or try to give advice, but in the end being objective IS to talk of the baggage of coercion and pressure and force integration comes with at the very least. There is no true equal choice when one is a minority that is very heavily squashed, and the other is celebrated.
Its something wed never consider ourselves, and personally most of us find it very upsetting to contemplate going through, to the point that its very hard to read things that promote it heavily and talk about it. We can't view it to be like anything but a kind of death for us, its so antithetical to how we exist. Having this kind of view and *holding it* in a society that hates that you exist, that doesnt want you to exist as your own person is so hard. The pressure on those who have never heard of the plural community -who have never heard of other options or frameworks- would be much moreso.
Fighting past our own kneejerk revulsion for the integration topic is hard. We recognize the community has a right to access that treatment and should have a safe place to discuss it, but its just something we fundamentally cannot relate to either. Its terrible, because we recognize that its healing for many people who undergo it and NOT what it is, but the kneejerk response to someone asserting they've integrated and we should try too its the best and the things the therapists say are totally true they really were all one person unable to see that is 'oh my god a talking mutilated frankenstien corpse! Run!'. We dont *want* to have that response, but we do.
Just our existences are so antithetical to integrating that in the same way as many singlets look at a plural person and get acute existential dread from us existing, we get it at bit in return to those who have fused fully. We do our best to not let it affect interacting with folks who have, but its something that is for sure there- likely because that end is an active threat to us. Society doesnt want us to exist and here is proof they can make it happen with enough elbow grease- make us not exist in a way that doesnt even leave us our selfhood in death. Its not the integrated person's fault AT ALL, mind, but that kneejerk fear is always present and will be till society doesnt loathe us existing.
Also REALLY feel the minimizing ones plurality to interact with singlets in the know (and even other plural folks sometimes). We help mod a fandom discord server and we are out in it and no one there has been anything less than accepting about it, but we still are so careful to barely mention it, to not say 'we' in most circumstances, to be as palatable as possible and not weird anyone out too much. We are hyperaware that we are probably the first and only system any of them have really met and thus are an ambassador of sorts. We have to have all the answers, be a 'good example'. Not do anything weird like have fictives who talk about that in that space or mention the spiritual aspects of our system or talk about the identity fuckery too much or a thousand other things. This is the case everywhere we are out that isnt plural specific. We are Happy To Answer Questions, even when we are not actually happy to answer questions. Unmasking this sort of 'for ease of singlets' gestalt persona that is as nonthreatening and reasonable to singlet sensibilities as possible is hard even in plural spaces because we have spent so long hiding to avoid danger.
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Date: 2023-01-19 06:44 pm (UTC)People have a right to do what they want and to integrate if that helps them, but its something that there is huge societal pressure to do so its not *really* a fully free choice for most people.
Simply existing is an uphill struggle against society, so anything that people see as an out is kind of already coercion a bit because of that.
We try so hard to be objective about integration when we write things about it or try to give advice, but in the end being objective IS to talk of the baggage of coercion and pressure and force integration comes with at the very least. There is no true equal choice when one is a minority that is very heavily squashed, and the other is celebrated.
Its something wed never consider ourselves, and personally most of us find it very upsetting to contemplate going through, to the point that its very hard to read things that promote it heavily and talk about it. We can't view it to be like anything but a kind of death for us, its so antithetical to how we exist. Having this kind of view and *holding it* in a society that hates that you exist, that doesnt want you to exist as your own person is so hard. The pressure on those who have never heard of the plural community -who have never heard of other options or frameworks- would be much moreso.
Fighting past our own kneejerk revulsion for the integration topic is hard. We recognize the community has a right to access that treatment and should have a safe place to discuss it, but its just something we fundamentally cannot relate to either.
Its terrible, because we recognize that its healing for many people who undergo it and NOT what it is, but the kneejerk response to someone asserting they've integrated and we should try too its the best and the things the therapists say are totally true they really were all one person unable to see that is 'oh my god a talking mutilated frankenstien corpse! Run!'.
We dont *want* to have that response, but we do.
Just our existences are so antithetical to integrating that in the same way as many singlets look at a plural person and get acute existential dread from us existing, we get it at bit in return to those who have fused fully. We do our best to not let it affect interacting with folks who have, but its something that is for sure there- likely because that end is an active threat to us. Society doesnt want us to exist and here is proof they can make it happen with enough elbow grease- make us not exist in a way that doesnt even leave us our selfhood in death. Its not the integrated person's fault AT ALL, mind, but that kneejerk fear is always present and will be till society doesnt loathe us existing.
Also REALLY feel the minimizing ones plurality to interact with singlets in the know (and even other plural folks sometimes). We help mod a fandom discord server and we are out in it and no one there has been anything less than accepting about it, but we still are so careful to barely mention it, to not say 'we' in most circumstances, to be as palatable as possible and not weird anyone out too much. We are hyperaware that we are probably the first and only system any of them have really met and thus are an ambassador of sorts. We have to have all the answers, be a 'good example'. Not do anything weird like have fictives who talk about that in that space or mention the spiritual aspects of our system or talk about the identity fuckery too much or a thousand other things. This is the case everywhere we are out that isnt plural specific. We are Happy To Answer Questions, even when we are not actually happy to answer questions.
Unmasking this sort of 'for ease of singlets' gestalt persona that is as nonthreatening and reasonable to singlet sensibilities as possible is hard even in plural spaces because we have spent so long hiding to avoid danger.