Thank you for the links about integration! You're completely right that there's a lot of pressure to act and/or become singlet, and so it's impossible to discuss neutrally.
Lore wanted to "revert" to singlet for a long time, which the other two of us did not appreciate nor think was practical. N walked in when we were 10, so we've been some degree of plural since then! We just had periods where one of us was fronting and other system members were internal only (sorta like that Sor described).
The two of us main fronters do fuse sometimes, but it's for hours or days, and usually due to a specific external situation (such as being around bio family). N goes quiet rather than being subsumed by us.
We're working on a zine about our median plurality experience, and we're including a bit on integration. We're lucky that we can pass as singlet in most circumstances where we want to (such as at work), but trying to pretend to be singlet *all* the time is exhausting and bad for our mental health.
Very grateful that we have understanding partners and a good group of friends so that we can openly switch in much of our personal & social life. As much as Lore thought it'd be "neater" to be singlet, trying to force that only increases our anxiety & struggles with self-hatred; being able to express multiple facets of ourself is definitely healthier & happier in the long run!
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Date: 2023-01-13 12:42 pm (UTC)Lore wanted to "revert" to singlet for a long time, which the other two of us did not appreciate nor think was practical. N walked in when we were 10, so we've been some degree of plural since then! We just had periods where one of us was fronting and other system members were internal only (sorta like that Sor described).
The two of us main fronters do fuse sometimes, but it's for hours or days, and usually due to a specific external situation (such as being around bio family). N goes quiet rather than being subsumed by us.
We're working on a zine about our median plurality experience, and we're including a bit on integration. We're lucky that we can pass as singlet in most circumstances where we want to (such as at work), but trying to pretend to be singlet *all* the time is exhausting and bad for our mental health.
Very grateful that we have understanding partners and a good group of friends so that we can openly switch in much of our personal & social life. As much as Lore thought it'd be "neater" to be singlet, trying to force that only increases our anxiety & struggles with self-hatred; being able to express multiple facets of ourself is definitely healthier & happier in the long run!
- J/L