We’ve known folks who’ve been multi around us for over a decade and still get unshakable fears that they’ve been unknowingly, unwittingly faking that whole time. No amount of reasoning or reassurance can put the fears to rest. Why? Because fears of faking are often a substitute for something else.
I've noticed that with a wide range of identity labels and mental health diagnoses. And I think that's why it's not just "Am I incorrect?", but specifically "Am I faking?" "
Am I incorrect?" is a more sensible question, but it's one which it's harder to make oneself miserable over. Being incorrect is not inherently blameworthy, so all it does is encourage looking at the facts. And looking at the facts can easily lead back to "It actually is this", and then having to deal with the original thing that one was trying to distract from.
Accusing oneself of faking, even when it doesn't make sense, adds this extra level of distracting shame to the whole thing. Which is why people who know they're not deliberately deceiving anyone, or pretending to experience anything they don't actually experience, will latch on to the word.
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Date: 2020-12-14 04:49 pm (UTC)I've noticed that with a wide range of identity labels and mental health diagnoses. And I think that's why it's not just "Am I incorrect?", but specifically "Am I faking?" "
Am I incorrect?" is a more sensible question, but it's one which it's harder to make oneself miserable over. Being incorrect is not inherently blameworthy, so all it does is encourage looking at the facts. And looking at the facts can easily lead back to "It actually is this", and then having to deal with the original thing that one was trying to distract from.
Accusing oneself of faking, even when it doesn't make sense, adds this extra level of distracting shame to the whole thing. Which is why people who know they're not deliberately deceiving anyone, or pretending to experience anything they don't actually experience, will latch on to the word.