This sounds parallel to some thoughts my partners and I have been having about what we've called the "Problems Guy" phenomenon. Y'know the thing that happens where some system members can end up with the lion's share of the bad memories/brain shit/negative emotions. Folks can sometimes end up in a pit where they feel like all the good stuff about Them has been portioned off to other people, and they're nothing but the designated problems haver.

That train of thought is a trap. It's an *understandable* one to have, but it's a trap. You (general) cannot relegate your entire identity to only suffering. For one, that's not true - at the very least there is potential to move beyond pain. Even if it takes time and a good deal of hard work. And like, the point you make about environment and circumstance applies here too. When suffering is a product of your conditions, changing the conditions for the better will alleviate the suffering. This doesn't have to be a fixed immovable feature. This is pain that can be relieved, managed, lived with until it can accomodate a good life anyway.

I got some chewing to do on how the stuff you outline here might be applied for Problems Guys. Being able to forge a better relationship with the shit they're going through, with the "darker" strains of their personality and experience.