Dealing with stuff while not necessarily believing in it is a difficult place to be. It sounds like a balancing act. I've been dealing with having had "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" type beliefs for a long time. [Basically the one-way relationship model you describe.] Handling deities in a literal sense would be unsettling to say the least, especially when it comes to trust.

Congratulations on doing a difficult job?