lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (emotions)
lb_lee ([personal profile] lb_lee) wrote 2019-10-03 03:14 pm (UTC)

Yeah, see, I actually find being a big deal extremely stressful. Because I've already seen in practice that people start putting extra weight on my words and experiences and using it as a beating stick on others and themselves, and it's just AWFUL. (One of the big moments that led to me leaving tumblr was someone posting all their self-hating shit about themselves basically being "YOU AREN'T AS FUNCTIONAL AS LB YOU DESERVE TO DIE" and then TAGGING me on it, and it's like, stop making me your self-hate sock puppet! STOP DOING THAT! That's not okay! I didn't consent to being dragged into the self-annihilatory hatred of a random stranger like this!) And this isn't just me either, I've seen other folks who took some other one system's experience as stone tablets, and when they inevitably failed to measure up, it fed into denial, or led to, "you must be fakes, because you're not like Famous System!" Whether that famous system is Sybil, me, or whoever, it doesn't actually solve the root problem.

And there's so much shit that we don't know and have never experienced! Like low co-consciousness? Never had to deal with it, and that's a HUGE plural issue. Big expansive headspaces, or gateway systems, or polyfragging? Nope. Actually having an in-world so big that there's a culture and groups of people that have to be taken into account? Never. Median stuff, tulpa stuff, new headmates NOT being a total "OH NO" moment? Nuh uh.

There's so much we don't know, stuff that we will NEVER know, and the whole stupid reason I do this stupid, stupid job is because I want multis to have a voice, not just for ME to have a voice. Because that doesn't solve the problem, which is that multiples are squished and told they don't get to define or own their own experiences, only defer to authority handing those definitions down to them.

Yeah, the Conjoined Headspace thing is something I tried to talk about a little in the Body-Hopping and Bookend headmates posts, but I think I'm going to try and cover it in the inner mythos essays too, because it is a major problem... but at the same time, it's something we've only witnessed, never experienced.

--Rogan

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