lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, surrounded by a circle and the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
One of the tropes you hear about multiples (or whatever Special Snowflake who’s too weird to exist) is that we want attention. I personally have rarely found it to be so. Most multiples I speak to are terrified, hiding behind anon screenames, dummy email accounts, and stating the absolute bare minimum they have to. They are PETRIFIED of being found out, petrified that they are faking or trying to usurp someone’s Very Serious Mental Illness.

For people like this, a complete lack of reaction is invaluable. Nothing calms down a terrified anon like finding out that there are plenty of other folks like them and that what they think is Unforgivably Weird is actually something ordinary and dealable. You have a unicorn in your head? That’s fine. You have an in-system relationship? Cool. You have a system member threatening violence? Common, but not cool, so here, let me recommend you some books and safety measures.

Sometimes, what these anons need is beyond my capability. It’s not that they’re Too Weird–it’s that I’m an ignorant human. These are not the same thing! I don’t know jack shit about electricity either; this doesn’t mean that electricity should feel ashamed about it.

Every once in a while, I will run into a multi who gives me the “run far away” impulse. (This should come as a surprise to nobody; multis are people, and some people are creepers.) A lack of reaction helps is invaluable here too. If there is someone who desperately wants me to fawn at their feet or be impressed, they are going to be disappointed… because I can guarantee I’ve seen it many times before. I’ve had people who thought threatening graphic violence on everyone around them would make me take them seriously, people who thought I’d love to hear about the incest going on in their headspace upon first meeting, people who were just plain unpleasant and cruel who thought they somehow stood above the rest of humanity. They didn’t.

Nothing is new under the sun. Even if it’s new to me, it is boring and ordinary to somebody somewhere, and I try to embody that feeling. Once you stop kvetching about how unforgivably weird something is, you can get off your ass and actually DEAL with it. It’s only by demystifying things that you can actually deal with them appropriately.

But of course, we just want attention, right? It’s not as though attention is required to actually LEARN. *rolls eyes* But then, it is my belief that trolls know that, on some level. They aren’t actually afraid we might leech their attention; they’re afraid we might realize we’re RIGHT and then never shut up again.

Date: 2016-08-14 12:20 am (UTC)
tintinnabulum: A young person of indeterminate gender with white hair in a bowl cut and a question mark above their head. (Eden)
From: [personal profile] tintinnabulum
I think this post is totally right. Spot-on. :D

Date: 2017-08-16 06:27 am (UTC)
apprehensiveacolyte: (rassilon)
From: [personal profile] apprehensiveacolyte
We have always said that a good goal for plural community etiquette should be to become so unflinchingly accepting of the strange and unusual that you could look Cthulhu directly in the eyes and not even blink.
-R. Prydonius
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