Baby Multis

Apr. 9th, 2015 12:21 pm
lb_lee: A short-haired person flexing their muscles and declaring, "Queer trans multi proud!" (pride)
[personal profile] lb_lee
Today, we're going to meet a baby multi who's just coming out.  A mutual acquaintance rigged up the meeting, since we were the only other multi they knew and they thought we could maybe be helpful.  In a few hours, we'll pack our bag with useful books and lug it on out to a public meeting place and have coffee or a meal with the newbie, answering questions and giving info.

The first time we did this, we lived in Texas and the multi was old enough to be our mother.  They had never met another multiple, and they certainly never got proper care; their shrink apparently tried to force-integrate them until reading MPD for You and Me.

It was surreal and uncomfortable, to be twenty-two and put in this bizarre position of authority among people significantly older and more knowledgeable than us.  It showed how scarce resources are for multiples, how desperate people are to have someone, anyone to talk to about it.  A system in the flesh, so they know we can exist and survive.

We didn’t discover the Internet until high school.  Before that, we ransacked the library, reading every book on DID we could find, desperate for clarity.  Mostly, we got melodrama.  But from the Flock, we learned that systems could function and get along.  From When Rabbit Howls and A Fractured Mind, we learned that not all systems integrate or want to.  From First Person Plural, we learned that it was possible to have a loving relationship.  Little bits and pieces, cobbled together from dozens of books, giving us the hope that maybe, existing as we were was okay.

Most of the time, that's what the anons and strangers seem to need: the reassurance not that everything will be okay, but that it CAN be okay, that THEY'RE okay.  That the world isn't ending, that it hasn't ended already.  Information and practical advice are good, but first and foremost, that's what folks seem to need, the knowledge that it's okay to exist and that others have done it before them.

--Rogan

Date: 2015-04-11 03:25 am (UTC)
ljlee: (reading)
From: [personal profile] ljlee
Most of the time, that's what the anons and strangers seem to need: the reassurance not that everything will be okay, but that it CAN be okay, that THEY'RE okay.

I think this is also why representation in fiction is so important. Fiction isn't a replacement for real-world resources and human contact, but it's a way to frame and understand our experiences and tends to reach a lot more people. And the fictional portrayal of multiples has been pretty abysmal.
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