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[personal profile] lb_lee
And we're back! Welcome to Part Two of the Andy Blake MST. In Part One, we learned that Andy was the multiest multi who ever multied, but never sought out other multis or ever attempted to research his own condition, and was totally okay with ripping someone away from their life and forcing them to stay in-system to take care of him. Oh, and also that Andy was totally a victim all of this and has no responsibility for anything. Let's get back to it!

As Elijah, I tried to deal with the ‘terrible situation’ of being split off from myself and trapped in a girl’s body (the closest I had yet come to confronting being transgender, as the only other exposure I had to the concept was MsAllegro, who sets off every NO alarm in ANYONE’S book)

Seriously? The whooooolle wide Internet, circa 2003, and not a SINGLE trans person to be found? I found them in 2007, and I don't think things changed that much in four years. And again, gee, Elijah is you when it's convenient, and separate when it's not. It's almost as though the multi is a cover for your abusive behavior.

as best I could, even taking some people ‘into my confidence’ to ‘tell them the truth.’ I also got BitofEarth into HUGE trouble from a fire triangle of three different major problems, all of which I am owning up to freely.

Oh really? You aren't going to make any insinuations that you were just SO CRAZY and SO FUCKED-UP and not actually abusive at all?

1: I was relying on a lot of “knowledge” which I wasn’t aware I was making up.

You? Not your system members? You? Then it's your fault. Own it.

This was primarily about the movie industry, publicity, and my “friends” on the cast and crew. Again, using the profiling principle, I was right enough of the time that I got an amazingly long way before it began crumbling around my ears, but in the end, the house (or the real world) always wins.

See, you keep insinuating that there's something to your bullshit, that sometimes you're right. You're ignoring the fact that IT TOTALLY CRUMBLED. People who are right don't go down in flames like this. You're wrong, Andy. You don't know shit.

Actually, I was right on everything that pre-dated the ”split,” but as the gap between that and the present got wider, there was more and more information I had that was no longer accurate.

So what you're saying is, your fantasies totally WERE reality and your fault was not realizing WHICH fantasies were more real than others. Uh huh.

Okay, for contrast folks: we have two system members from elsewhere: Mac and Falcon. Falcon worked as a sort of caseworker for children. Mac worked with aliens and also did some bartending. There are TONS of things that they don't know, and feel they should. Mac was mortified when he no longer even knew what made up a martini. Falcon has been depressed and mooching around for at least a year in part because he's stranded here and probably missing most of his memories and skills. (I say probably because dude is cagey and never talks.)

They have not been happy about this, but they have NEVER tried to pull shit like their experiences being the same as the ones here. Because they're not assholes who're willing to bet other peoples' well-being and money on their scrambled memories.

Sure, every once in a while, one of them will come up with something weird--like Mac having to tell me, "Dude, the Dodgers aren't in Brooklyn anymore; they're in LA." But that's coincidence, random chance. It's not super-cosmic magical sparkles.

2. I was at this point completely unraveled from what was and was not true about my own life, and what I believed about myself and my past could change from moment to moment. This did not engender what you would exactly call a spirit of trust, which is something very important when you are working on a project of that magnitude.

This is not multi. Every system member has their own coherent belief system. They might be DIFFERENT, but they don't just change on the spot. That's not how it works.

This is because I was continuing to split further.

"Oh right, I'm supposed to be multiple! I better pull that in again..."

The mess the Priestess had made of me and the alters she had started were still developing, but now Elijah, not me, was the default.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE ELIJAH. MAKE SENSE GODDAMN YOU. WERE YOU HIM OR NOT?

Each of those, again, was a completely separate entitity with their own past, and my mouth, face, voice, and eyes could give you ten different backstories in ten days and every single time be able to pass a fleet of lie detectors that it was the truth.

You know, for someone who's supposedly multiple, and has been for such a long time, you don't use one of the most common markers all the multis I've known have used: we. You have never ONCE used the word 'we' in regards to your system. It's always 'I' or 'they.'

Not a coincidence: you're trying to blame them for your bad behavior, while at the same time emphasizing how NOT-YOU they are. But still, even the most bad-behaved, woo-woo multi I know uses 'we.' We kind of have to. I really don't think you're multiple, Andy. I think you're a con man who's crafting a narrative, and not very well.

Because most systems, by this point, would actually be trying to regulate their front, talk to each other, get SOMETHING done. This isn't the seventies, Andy. People know what multi is.

3. Aware that I had lost everyone in my previous life - whether that was as Amy OR Elijah - I hung a crazed amount of importance on BitofEarth, the people in it, and them all continuing to like me at all costs. Especially Orangeblossom, whom I had fallen in love with by then.

Remember, though, she's Abbey. This will become important later.

In order to try and maintain this, I took on ridiculously more than I could handle.

You still are. Remember GISHWES? That thing you did last year and had a psychotic episode, but are still doing again this year? Aw, Andy, you ain't changed a bit!

If someone wanted it, I promised it. If I could find a way to do it - lie, cheat, hook, or crook - I did it, or if I couldn’t, I came up with an excuse that made it not my fault.

What, like being multiple?

I delegated my hugely overloaded plate to others, but when they weren’t happy with the work, or if something went wrong, I took it back onto myself rather than confront them or drive them, even if I already had more than I could handle. I considered the success of Orangeblossom’s and everyone else’s whims at BitofEarth to be the stuff of life or dearth, and had completely lost all perspective. And if you’re fighting for your life, not a convention or organization, you’ll do anything, say anything, promise anything, and prop yourself up on a house of cards hoping you can find glue before the wind blows.

"It's not that I was abusive or swindling people! It was just that I CARED too much!"

Well, as everyone knows, the wind blew big time and I didn’t have any glue.

You did have a huge, heaping helping of bullshit, though!

Seeing the sure destruction of TentMoot and the exposure of the lies I had told to try and pull it off, I tried to kill myself. I am actually very thankful for this, as the mandatory rest in the mental hospital was my first step towards re-connecting with reality.

The alter committed suicide.


MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING GODDAMN MIND. You can't even keep you vs. your system members straight within THREE SENTENCES. AAAAAHH.

Or rather, the alter attempted suicide with my body and succeeded in terms of destroying himself as a consciousness.

You only wish it were that easy. I know systems who have pulled this. I knew a system who used to murder an inconvenient system member over and over, only for him to continue rising up like a miserable shambling zombie, getting worse every time. I knew another system where one member faked their death to try and control another person.

I was left holding the bag,

Not how multi works, buddy. You were ALWAYS holding the bag.

blinking back into existence after over a year, deluged with sudden memories that I’d had no part in and which more or less boiled down to “Wow I’m in Deep Shit.”

Again, not how multi works. Again, not how all this mountain of bullshit boils down to: "It wasn't me! It was Alter Bob!" He has crafted this Mt. Rushmore of bullshit all to explain why he KNOWS all of this but couldn't do a thing about it. I have never in my life ever met a system that runs this way. I have never met a system with a kind member who didn't TRY to protect the people around them from abusive system members.

Andy is trying to describe himself as again, a helpless little victim. But that's a fiction. A fantasy. He's not a helpless victim. He's an abuser, and a con artist, trying to deflect attention from his despicable behavior.

Also, note that he claims he wasn't there for over a year, but still fell in love with Orangeblossom/Abbey. HOW? How could he fall in love with someone he was never WITH? His timeline is all sorts of scrambled.

After the fall of BitofEarth, I tried a home-based business selling credit-card readers with a guy who I’d met at the mental home, but he WAS a scam artist,

"Not like me!"

and I was soon standing on the sidewalk in San Dimas with Diamond, Orangeblossom, an eviction notice, and not a red cent to my name.

"It totally wasn't my fault at all! I had nothing to do with it!" You sure this guy wasn't another one of your "alters," Andy?

Begging at gas stations for money and gas to get us there, we made it into Hollywood , where we crashed on a friend’s couch for a few days until we could scrape together the money taking pictures as costumed characters on the Boulevard to get a cheap motel room. We lived hand to mouth that way for all of 2004 and the first half of 2005, trying to repair our lives.

That's not what Orangeblossom says. Or Diamond. Both of them say you made their lives hell, that you were still channeling tons and tons of people, that you were still taking absolutely no responsibility.

The maelstrom that destroyed BitofEarth, horrifying and painful as it was, was, in the end, I believe, the work of God.

Oh please. Like God cares about Lord of the Rings conventions.

It also destroyed the ‘duplicate Elijah’ and I had to start over looking myself hard in the face.

So, let's sum up here. As of now, system members have gone because: you quit a job, you attempted suicide, and Act of God. Sure, that sounds totally probable. If it were that easy to get rid of system members, multis the world over would be doing stuff like this.

It was about this time that we separated from Diamond, who had begun having fits of temper where she would bite and attack us and herself, as well as stealing alcohol.

You don't mention raping her. Funny how that works. And honestly, living with you, where you were constantly depriving people of sleep and food and being a constant drama llama, I'd bite you too!

We have heard several stories about her going through quite the litany of roommates with several different horror stories of lies and dozens of identities on her part,

Gee, that sure sounds like someone else in this post... now, who could it be...

but I don’t trust gossip, and it’s not my business anyway.

And yet, here you are, bringing it up. Quit it, Andy, my eighty-year-old granny is WAY better at passive-aggression than you are. And a lot less obnoxious too.

I haven’t seen her in over 3 years, and I hope that she is well and has gotten the help she so clearly needed.

How generous of you, you raping, lying, abusive dirtbag.

Terribly afraid at being pinned as a con artist when I hadn’t stolen from anyone,

AHAHAHAHAHA wow. Just... wow. YOU TRIED TO BUY OFF JEANINE RING YOU IDIOT. Anyone on earth who does the most cursory research into you learns that! And here you are, lying like nobody will ever find out! (And that hush money happened a year or so before this letter, so oh yeah, he knew it.)

and seized with panic attacks at the thought of being made to live as Amy Player, a girl,

Note that he has NOT ONCE spared a thought to ANY of the people he has abused. Except Diamond, who he never admitted to abusing at all. No, it's all about him, him, him, his big dramatic trans story, his big dramatic multi story, his big dramatic drama.

I tried to adopt a new identity so that I could sort myself out while still living as a male.

Also so you could start a new scam and a new cult, just like you did with all your prior identities: Amy Player, VoyagerBabe, Victoria Bitter, Stwriter, and Jordan Wood. Your identity changes aren't at all innocent.

No movie stars this time, no big deal, just a drifting ‘actor, writer, jack-of-all-trades’ with a mysterious past he wouldn’t talk about.

Your past ain't that mysterious, bro. If you hadn't started abusing people and conning people right and left, your past would be about as mysterious as ours. I've been pretty open about it, and Candlejack hasn't come and taken us away! Please, just... get OVER yourself.

I got a lot of therapy, found out about transgender, saved up money, got an apartment, and started looking at building up a long-term life again.

What year is it now? 2005? 2006? You only JUST NOW heard about trans? And you were living in HOLLYWOOD? I lived in fucking TEXAS and knew about trans by 2005! And I'm younger and less tech-savvy than you!

This is all again true, but there are some major omissions which were left out to try and protect Abbey.

*snort* You didn't protect Abbey. You called her TitFish and made her walk to Canada in February.

During this time, there was an entire litany of alters.

Of COURSE there was. I'll bet they all had superpowers and large penises too.

The more stress I was under, the more I split,

What stress were you under that you didn't create? Seriously, all this stress you're talking about is entirely self-inflicted. It's like a perpetual Multi-Baby-Making Machine!

and this time, they were almost all male and all inter-related with each other one way or another.

OH GOD I WAS JOKING ABOUT THE PENISES THING PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME BE RIGHT.

It had nothing to do with the Daydverse. It is not any kind of precedent to the Daydverse. Abbey’s just assuming, and has frankly never even read it (especially since she calls it my grand “slash epic” when the only gay couple are the very minor characters of Stephen and Derek) After Cherie left, I couldn’t handle it any more.

Priorities! Because in all this, do you know what matters to him? Proving that his giant edgy Harry Potter fanfiction isn't derivative of his OTHER fanfiction.

I was stranded in this huge mess I hadn’t made with this woman who was incredibly needy, clingy, and demanding and whom I frankly couldn’t stand, but whom I had to pander to desperately because she was all I had in the world.

So you called her Titfish, played rodeo with her skin, and walked her to Canada. And threw a screaming meltdown when she left. Yeah, you so selfless, Andy. Let me pat your ass for you.

Also, I thought you said you were in love with her? Guess that was a lie too!

She wanted, I gave.

"It's not that I'm an abusive gonorrhea jizz splotch! It's just that I CARED too much!"

I even wrote a screenplay for her and signed over the rights so she could register it in her name with the writer’s guild and managed to get her pitched to Dreamworks, but then she got bored with it and changed her mind.

"LOOK HOW MUCH I CAAAAARED I'M SO NIIIIIICE PAT MY ASS PAT IT I SAY"

I had nowhere near anything approaching enough self-esteem or even energy to fight back against that she had also learned to ask for the alters and they’d come.

Why didn't your alters try and help you, Andy? Oh right, that would mean you can't stroke your martyr boner. Seriously, most systems are set up according to some kind of principle--protection, survival, etc. Yours seems to be set up according to whatever will make you angst hardest.

I don’t really know her well,

Says the guy who was claiming he was in love with her just a second ago.

but in memory, she revels in being loved and petted and most of all Special. She must at all times be Special.

Says the dude who claims to be more DID than all the other DIDs in the world, who claimed to have future knowledge, who's afraid of Sentinels coming to take him away, who claimed to be the soul-clone of Elijah Wood.

She’s also the most malleable person I’ve ever seen, and I don’t mean that she was “easy to control.” Actually, she was incredibly difficult because she was very much a love/believe the one you’re with. This week she’s conservative, now she’s liberal, this week she’s vegetarian, now she wants to raise chickens, we redecorate the apartment fifty times, she wants to be a director no screenwriter no novelist no actress no tv producer…you can see it again now. On her blog, it’s vividly apparent as she realigns herself to the crowd, as long as they call her Special.

Not like YOU! You don't care about people's opinions at ALL. Also, it is extremely gross and in ill-taste to denigrate an ex, especially one who had to have serious therapy after you.

I estimate that from 2003-2007 I probably spent a collective month in my own head.

"AGONY! FAR MORE PAINFUL THAN YOURS!" Dude, she can't hurt you if you're not conscious in the system. She'd hurt OTHER system members. But that would take the focus off YOU, wouldn't it?

Each time the infodumps of catchup memory were huge. I’d get debilitating let-me-die migranes for a day or two. And then I’d know just how much had happened, how many promises and changes and plans had been made without me, and I’d be utterly unable to cope with even knowing where to begin to handle it. So I’d just lie there until, before too long, Abbey would get frustrated with me and ask for one of the others and I’d be gone again.

For someone never around, you sure whine a lot about what happened to your other system members all while never acknowledging your humanity. Again, I dearly hope you're lying, because otherwise, you are a REPREHENSIBLE headmate.

Next thing I knew, I was back in Virginia.

Oh, so NOW your memory blacks out. Sure why not, it makes about as much sense as anything else in this bullshit.

In an apartment, working three jobs, and Abbey had gone with her mother but was still sending me letters saying she loved me and if “we both got our acts together” she’d be coming back.

No, YOU sent constant letters and packages and phone calls. And frankly, in Abbey's word versus yours, I'll take Abbey, since she seems to be more reliable now and I've caught you in bald-faced lies multiple times IN THIS ONE LETTER.

So I posted an apology to try and start the process of rebuilding the mess I’d been left in,

No, the mess YOU PUT YOURSELF IN. Don't try and weasel out using passive voice, that's not how multi works.

figuring that maybe trying to calm down the angry people was a good place to start. I had no idea that she was on any kind of vacation or anything of the sort. I didn’t know where she was other than “with her mother.”

At this time, Abbey was getting deprogrammed and trying to get the fuck away from you, you creepy, creepy little man. But yeah, keep polishing that halo, Andy. I'll believe in it any minute now.

I worked, I went to counseling, I got a name for (what I was willing to tell him) of what was wrong with me. I started the transition process.

I can't BELIEVE you passed the WPATH guidelines. What, was your shrink asleep? Oh wait, you admitted lying and hiding shit from him. Which I know other systems who've had to do that (including us!) but again, WE DIDN'T ABUSE ANYONE. Also, Andy at this point readily admits to being about as stable as a house of cards on Mt. Windy. Why on EARTH would anyone undertake something as grueling as transition in such frail mental condition?

I dutifully wrote updates to Abbey weekly and sent her Christmas and birthday presents and received little tokens in return. I didn’t actually have any feelings for her myself,

So you lied about loving her. Okay.

but she was part of the package I’d inherited, and I had very strong feelings for the idea of having a real, stable, relatively sane life.

So you didn't actually care about her except as a prop to your ego. Good to know.

No, things weren’t good. Thanks to Jeanine and the alters, I was a laughingstock and pariah in my old circles,

Poor unfortunate soul! Who would've thought that defrauding two cons and abusing people would've made you a pariah? (Except not. You're still a popular guy.) Here, let me pat your ass for you.

and the whole FtM transition was hell and a half (I found out halfway through that I had a heart condition that almost disqualified me and gave me a prognosis of less than five years, though that later proved to be a mis-reading of the MRI),

So... you had a heart condition that made transition hard, but then it turned out you didn't HAVE one. That doesn't make any sense and you know it. Also, you also claimed that your heart condition gave you less than TEN years a few years prior to this.

but I put my head down and shoulder to the proverbial grindstone and told myself that soon I’d just be any other man with a girlfriend who loved him and we could move away from the shame.

The shame that YOU perpetrated. And Andy, when have you EVER wanted to be "any other man"? If there's one consistency about you, it's the desire to be special, one-of-a-kind.

Note that he doesn't talk about his "alters" ruining his life now. Why? What's changed? He never mentions EVER talking to them, not ONCE, which is kinda the basis of all DID treatment. Intra-system communication is paramount.

Then out of the blue I get a call. It’s her. I give my latest update and ask when she’s coming. She says never. She says she’s with someone else. I ask if we can be friends. She says no. I ask about the bird. She says it’s dead and that if I ever contact her again she’ll have the police on me and she hangs up. I stood there for ten minutes with the phone in my hand, then went into my apartment and sat there. I didn’t go to work. I was in shock. Six weeks later I got evicted, losing my deposit because the electricity had been off for weeks and the fridge was a mire of maggots. I weighed less than 100lbs. I moved into my car. I drove down to the library. I answered an ad for a telemarketing job. I realized I’d have to interview. I started sobbing. I blacked out.

I thought you didn't care about her or have any feelings for her? I thought you just wanted her as a symbol of your normal cis straight life? Oh, and the alters are back. How convenient. (Also, nice how you avoid mentioning you tried to claim the sparrow was your son.)

Fourteen months later I’m standing in a room I don’t know with a cat I don’t know, and there’s another, massive infodump. This time, there’s been only one alter.

WHERE DID ALL THE OTHERS GO? NARNIA? I know I keep saying this, but this is NOT how multi works. I know systems where people constantly come and go, but they tend not to be overpowering because they just aren't around long enough. I know systems with members who ARE overpowering, but you're stuck with them for the long haul. These things are related: a good rule of thumb is, the longer someone is around and active, the more they'll be able to understand and navigate the corporeal life. What Andy is saying makes NO sense. He sheds alters like hair!

He’s been using my new legal name, Andrew Blake, but he has, like the others, his own fully realized backstory.

My god, just like EVERY OTHER FUCKING MULTI ON THE PLANET. Get a CLUE, Andrew.

And oh, God, he’s completely unlike the others.

You had over eighty of them. How different could he POSSIBLY be? Was he nice?

If I’d been able to actually have a life, he’s who I only wish I could have been. He’s smart, funny, strong, and unlike so many of the others who have run roughshod over my life before, he’s so, so kind.

Oh my sweet Jesus why am I right. I don't want to be right. Stop it, Andy! (And seriously, was your shrink just a volleyball with a face painted on it? How did you HIDE all this from them? If you didn't, how did the shrink APPROVE of your transition? A disorganized system with no rules and frail mental health is practically the WORST candidate for transition!)

He’s gotten me into an apartment with a guy named Mark that I’d been friends with when we were very young, he’s holding two jobs, has put my mother in her place (he thinks he’s my brother and has just forcefully insisted that he “won’t discuss Amy, I’m your son and you deal with me or not. No Amy, no [SISTER’S NAME REDACTED]”) and reconnected with Papa and my Dad as a SON.

Wow, what a magical alter! It's like he has absolutely no cause in life except to pat your ass! Truly, a match made in heaven. Does this mean you're actually going to open communication and start dealing with your shit now?

I’m actually digging out of the 25K of debt Abbey left me in,

For someone who doesn't care about her, you sure seem resentful, Andy. And yeah, I totally believe you had NOTHING TO DO with that debt. You were totally innocent and not responsible in any way.

and he’s gotten into HP fandom but not in the old way.

No, by all accounts, EXACTLY in the old way. After all, Andy Blake WAS originally based off Orlando Bloom. But he's TOTALLY OVER IT FOR REAL THIS TIME.

He’s been writing, drawing, and it’s amazing work that has attracted REAL friends and a REAL social life and he’s been helping people beyond my wildest dreams.

I know this is irrelevant but I can't hold it back. As a writer and artist, I find Andy's writing and drawing both to be mediocre, at best. He's a good rehasher, a good remixer, a good duplicator. But his prose is bloated and so purple it's mauve, his metaphors often make no sense, and his art shows little grasp of structure. He doesn't seem to have any core of originality, in his art or in person. Just because it's popular doesn't mean it's good, Andy.

He knows nothing about me, and I’m terrified he’ll find out.

Dude, you are the only professed multiple I've ever met who is FIGHTING any sort of co-consciousness or communication whatsoever. And yet you seem surprised that your system always goes down in flames? Again, I really do hope you're lying because this is the polar opposite of how any system should ever run, regardless of origin or circumstances.

Ignorance is not bliss. A system has to know each other and have some form of rules and government to act effectively. Otherwise you're constantly slowing each other down or duplicating past actions. If you ARE multiple, you are basically admitting to undermining your own functioning purely for the sake of your ego. That is shameful.

He’s a wonderful, wonderful man, and he doesn’t deserve me and my mess. But at least some of my demons have followed him - HE’S gotten infodump from people he’s based the Daydverse on, though nothing else.

Dude, just suck his cock already. Quit demonizing or putting your system members on pedestals and start actually DEALING with shit.

Except well, let's face it. You aren't actually multiple. Your story is so inconsistent, so full of contradictions, that your system would have to be extremely toxic and abusive to be going the way it is. You haven't done your research; you're just throwing together a bunch of multi pop culture tropes and reveling in your own martyrdom.

You're not multi, Andy. It's just you in that sad little head of yours. What wretched company.

I don’t know what brought me back,

But who would tell this tragic tale if not for you, Andy?

but in that space, I evaluated things and decided that I was a lost cause. No, that’s not self-pity.

Yes it is.

I never really had a chance.

No, you've had tons of chances. You just blew every single one of them.

28 years in, and I’ve lived maybe 10 of them, and pretty much everything since 1995 has been just nightmarish desperate paddling against other people’s mess. Never really a chance to become anything, no real personality or asperations beyond “Oh God please no more what now.”

Well, you've never taken responsibility for anything, so why start now? Why take control of your life now, when you can just cry about how useless you are?

Also, dude, there are plenty of systems where members are missing huge chunks of their lives. And you know what? THEY GET ON WITH IT. They deal. They cope. They don't sit in a puddle of tears and wordvomit about how the world done them wrong. They got a fucking hobby that didn't involve hurting people.

And here is this man, this GOOD man, making good things out of the rubble of my life and he has a circle of friends who love him, whom he loves, and who depend on him. So I gave him my life. Sydney Carton: It is a far far better thing and all that.

Dude, you are making me and my husband's relationship look cold. And please, stop. Just... stop. You can't pretend ALL your alters were evil and now there's only one good person. You've lied multiple times. You've taken actions that would actively undermine any functioning in your systems. I don't care if you have Jesus Christ and Gandhi's bastard lovechild his own self in that head of yours, you're an abuser, and you are highly unlikely to change. No deflecting of blame, no front switch, will change that.

I had learned during the 2003-2007 span that I could plant triggers - nothing complicated - like post-hypnotic suggestions that would cause me to be yanked back.

WHAT IS THIS SHIT. I have never HEARD of this shit. Seriously, if this shit existed, multis would be all fucking over it. You're telling me that you never once talked or initiated any kind of communication with your system, but can totally control front switches now but at the same time are still a helpless victim unable to do anything? Yeah, bullshit.

Very similar to the “If I say chicken fricassee, you’ll wake up,” stuff of movies.

Andy. Sweetheart. Movies aren't real.

He’s aware of the wank and it doesn’t really bother him because hey, it’s all about his sister and he’s got a thick skin, good sense of humor, strong sense of perspective, and a lot of self-esteem.

How on EARTH could this dude think you're his corporeal sister when you never speak to him? Also, if he's such a "good guy," wouldn't he be absolutely HORRIFIED at your conduct? I am!

But if it gets really serious about my past vs what he knows as his, it triggers chicken fricassee, I deal with it, and he just has a blank space. And he’s resourceful and has good friends and works around them. As far as he knows, he just has occasional blackouts, possibly from the multiple concussions (which my body DOES carry).

Just like the heart defect and the sword wound from your time in the IRA, right?

He has no idea of all this, really.

So... he knows you exist, that you're his sister, all about your family, and that there's wank, but he doesn't realize y'all share a vessel. RIGHT.

And I don’t want him to.

Again, never ever run your system this way. It will NEVER end well.

He’s the man you’re friends with, but I’m the one trying to shield him from the mess I made before he came along.

The mess you blame on Abbey, on Diamond, on your alters, but never yourself, except in such a way as to make people feel sorry for you. Why shield him, Andy? Surely a great guy like him with a "thick skin" can handle it!

It’s why I never respond publicly to the wank,

Well, except for that interview you just gave. And the recent anon comments blitz. And all the lying.

why I never say anything about it anywhere other than email boxes where I can delete the correspondence as it’s read and he never has to know.

Note: if you were a real multiple, this would bite you in the ass SO HARD. Don't try it. When system members find out you've been lying to them for years about basic data, they will NOT be happy.

Please, take him as he is.

Just make sure he never, EVER has to take responsibility for ANYTHING the system has ever done!

Take me for whatever you want to. Hate me, throw me to the wolves, whatever,

Dude, I'm not your dom. Stop it. You're not even PAYING me.

but please know that I’m not going to see him destroyed by this.

Should've thought of that BEFORE you abused and swindled across the country.

If you do choose the wolves, I’ll find a way to make it look like someone else sent the email.

And here come the threats again. "Do whatever you want with me... but if I don't like it YOU WILL FUCKING PAY."

I’ll spin whatever I have to spin, and he’ll believe it, because hey, he KNOWS his own past and life, and he has no reason to doubt them. He’s a good, good person, whether he’s a manifestation, spirit, ghost, alter, other, dissociation, or whatever else. It doesn’t matter. I’ve decided to let him live. Please do the same.

Look at him, doing exactly what he said he "used" to: taking on too much, promising everything, etc. etc. Also, "let him live"? Dude, you're supposed to be portraying yourself as a helpless victim; you can't do that and also imply you can just kill him off whenever you want.

Because believe me, if it were that easy, multis wouldn't have any problems at all.

I’ll be waiting for your reply and then this whole thing is getting deleted from the email. I’ve tried to be comprehensive, but it’s a lot, and like I said, I don’t carry on about it in public.

Because then people might find out he's a terrible person!

Regards
Legally, Andrew Blake, but not Thanfiction


FUCK THIS BULLSHIT.

If Andy Blake is multiple (and I highly doubt it) it's a kind of multiplicity that seems bizarrely favorable to allowing him to abuse tons of people with absolutely no retribution, responsibility, or changing of behavior. It kludges together a lot of different pop culture tropes, is hugely inconsistent, and is used mostly to groom sympathy and pity from others.

Andy Blake is a shitstain on the ass of humanity. I am sorry to share a professed identity with him, and he can go fuck a cactus.

Date: 2014-07-24 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] natalief.livejournal.com
P.P.S. A web search for MST (https://ixquick.com/do/search?cat=web&cmd=process_search&language=english_uk&query=mst&ff=) does not help much and typing "mst" and then enter into my browser's address bar leads to the MS Trust (http://www.mstrust.org.uk/), probably due to it being a site I have visited before. Sorry to be such a pain.

Date: 2014-07-24 01:12 am (UTC)
ext_794642: A patch of forget-me-nots. (Default)
From: [identity profile] brin-bellway.livejournal.com
A "MST" is a post written in the style of the TV show Mystery Science Theater 3000: a copy of the original thing-being-MSTed with snarky comments inserted throughout.

Date: 2014-07-24 03:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] natalief.livejournal.com
Ah thanks. Never heard of that show. Perhaps it is US-only or, at least, non-UK.

Date: 2014-07-24 04:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lb-lee.livejournal.com
Oops, I see I have been ninjaed. But yes, far as I know, MST3k was US-only; it was kind of a cult fandom. The guys still do their thing now, only now it's Rifftrax (http://www.rifftrax.com/), snarky audio commentaries played alongside existing movie DVDs.

--Rogan

Date: 2014-07-24 05:08 pm (UTC)

Date: 2014-07-24 10:52 pm (UTC)
ext_794642: A patch of forget-me-nots. (Default)
From: [identity profile] brin-bellway.livejournal.com
A lot of MST3K episodes are on Youtube now. I watched one of them, but found it very culture-specific. Many, perhaps most of the jokes relied on a familiarity with 80's and 90's American pop culture that someone whose earliest culture-related memory is the Bush-Gore election (21st century, albeit not by much) simply doesn't have. (And I was at least raised in America. It might have been even worse otherwise.) I still got some of them, but I was very conscious of how much was flying over my head.

I suspect I would enjoy Rifftrax a lot more, since they were made during a time when I was alive and paying attention to pop culture. I haven't tried any yet, though.

Date: 2014-07-24 11:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lb-lee.livejournal.com
Ah yeah, it IS intensely reference-heavy. We miss a lot of them too, and we should know better!

Rifftrax also has references, but I think a lot of it can still be understood. My favorite is the one they did for Twilight. Admittedly, Twilight is one of the most hilarious movies I have seen in the past ten years, even though it's all unintentional, but the Rifftrax guys are also on their A-game for it. If you want to give any Rifftrax a try, I recommend the one for Twilight.

--Rogan

Date: 2014-07-24 02:03 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Holy shit. Hoooly shit. So much drama. So much self-pity. holy crap.

You're completely right, his story just doesn't add up. it's so weird and twisted I probably couldn't construct a timeline of it if you asked me to.

Good on you for MSTing this, though. It was an interesting read, that was for sure. -LC (Ange System)

Date: 2014-07-24 05:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lb-lee.livejournal.com
Seriously. The whole time I was making this MST, the hardest part was resisting the urge to scream, "GET OVER YOURSELF GODDAMN," every other line. I had to resurrect my 50 Shades of Playlist to get through it!

--Rogan

Date: 2014-07-24 06:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] inkahootz.livejournal.com
Um, wow. I had not heard of this person before but just read your posts and am like … um, wow. Upsetting…. I don't even have the words.

~Nomi

Date: 2014-07-24 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lb-lee.livejournal.com
Yeah, thankfully, I think you have mostly managed to avoid him. He is currently in Supernatural under the name Andy Blake, thanfiction, or andythanfiction, and looks like he's trying to move into the Teen Wolf fandom.

It's good you've avoided him. By all means, continue doing so!

--Rogan

Date: 2014-07-25 08:02 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Thank you very much for writing this!

I don't know much about DID/multiples so I am very glad someone who has knowledge&lived experience could shed some light on Andy's lies.

This confirms for me, that even if Andy had every mental illness he says he has, he would still be an abusive, responsibility-avoidant jerkface.
I only have C-PTSD, but whatever I do triggered&dissociated (like verbal aggression) needs to be dealt with by me. *I* have responsibility for dealing with it, because people were still hurt. I thought it was probably like that when it came to systems too, but I wasn't sure.

So once again, thank you for taking time to explain.

Date: 2014-07-25 06:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lb-lee.livejournal.com
No problem! If you'd like to learn more about multiplicity WITHOUT Andy Blake, you can check out our hub site (healthymultiplicity.com/loonybrain/)! There, we have comics and other 101 pages, with more intent of educating rather than tearing down excuses.

--Miranda

Date: 2014-07-28 04:02 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
He's also trying to move into the Welcome to Night Vale fandom now, isn't it charming? And I'm sure it's a total coincidence that it is happening right after they just had a big blow-up in the fandom re: some doxxing thing. He's totally not trying to capitalize on that to avoid being called out for his abusive behavior at ALL. #sarcasm

Date: 2014-07-28 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lb-lee.livejournal.com
So I've heard. I don't know about the blowup, since I'm not in the fandom, but I spread the word since I know folks in it. I swear, the guy never stops.

Date: 2014-07-28 09:50 pm (UTC)
ext_96057: (Default)
From: [identity profile] ryntha-doghare.livejournal.com
Here from Part 1! Comments for this part as follows:

"and this time, they were almost all male and all inter-related with each other one way or another.

OH GOD I WAS JOKING ABOUT THE PENISES THING PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME BE RIGHT."

LAUGHING ENDLESSLY

"I ask about the bird."

Amazing.

"And oh, God, he’s completely unlike the others.

You had over eighty of them. How different could he POSSIBLY be? Was he nice?"

LOLING SOME MORE

"Dude, just suck his cock already."

Hahaha.

"You're not multi, Andy. It's just you in that sad little head of yours. What wretched company."

Such a truer thing was never said.

"I’ve decided to let him live."

Wow, what a douchebag.

I like how he's just created a new blank slate for himself by pretending to be this new amazing alter. Goddamn, I hate bad multiples, they make it so hard for us to actually get accepted by singlets because it only takes one bad apple to pull down the reputation of the whole community.

Date: 2014-07-28 10:20 pm (UTC)
ext_96057: (Default)
From: [identity profile] ryntha-doghare.livejournal.com
Also, forgot to mention, I smiled every time you mentioned Sentinels; we have a member from X-Men here.

Date: 2014-07-29 12:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lb-lee.livejournal.com
YUP. When multi doesn't work that way. You can't just axe bad system members and then think everything is magically all better. That's not how system responsibility works. Jesus.

Especially since he gave absolutely NO evidence that nice dude existed and he wasn't just pulling another lie. I mean COME ON. AAAAAAAH.

Seriously. I dearly hope he IS lying about the multi, because if not, he is the worst headmate EVER.

--Rogan

Date: 2014-07-29 11:58 am (UTC)
ext_96057: (Default)
From: [identity profile] ryntha-doghare.livejournal.com
Generally as these things go - at least in my experience - you can't really fake the existence of a headmate, even to a singlet. They generally (assuming they haven't been brainwashed in another way, e.g. by his cultish behaviour) can tell when a headmate is a real distinct person and when they're just the core's acting. Or at least, that's always how it's gone for me, since we've managed to persuade a total atheist All-Religious-People-Are-Idiots skeptic that our multiplicity was real just by letting him interact with someone (who wasn't me, since I'm the core) fronting. He was convinced, after talking to my headmate, that there's no way I could be making this up for attention. I think if someone was to witness Andy Blake's "headmates" in person, they would realise that his "headmates" are *not* real, but maybe that's just naivety on my part. Either way, I guess it doesn't matter because most of his bullshit goes on through the Internet, where it's much harder to gauge what's real and what's not.

BTW, have you considered submitting your MST to 1purp0se.tumblr.com? After I read your entries, I went and read a whole bunch of other stuff I could find on Andy Blake, and ended up staying til 3am reading KumquatWriter's account of things. Turns out, 1purp0se exists to document everything about Andy Blake, and I was thinking it'd be beneficial if they could get a handle on how Andy isn't a true representation of multiplicity. IDK if that would just invite trolling, or if you're comfortable with such a public platform, but I thought I'd suggest it!

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