lb_lee: (realitylolz)
[personal profile] lb_lee
Headspace is one of those things that a lot of people find confusing or weird. Everyone’s headspace is different and manifests for different reasons. I think ours might look weird on the surface, but it’s pretty simple to explain, so I’m giving it a shot.

Our internal landscape is very stripped down and minimalist: a house in a big black/brown smoggy void. The Void has no horizon, no texture, no ambient temperature; it’s just nothing.

The Void was not something we consciously created. It just spontaneously grew up around us over the years. It’s probably fair to call it a representation of our subconscious, because it is somewhat self-directed. It will do things independently of our conscious desires—for instance, if it decides you’ve had enough, it’ll drag you under like a Lovecraftian blob, no matter how much you kick and scream, and make you rest for a while.

The Void does not act in a human manner. It does not follow a human morality. We’re lucky in that it’s generally benign and wants us to be okay, but how it interprets “okay” can be totally different from what any of us believe. When times get bad, it can be incredibly draconian in its attempts to keep us functioning.

This all sounds very eldritch and weird, but the Void is actually pretty simple at the core: it is our subconscious interacting with us directly. The smog/goo is purely a sensory metaphor, a way for us to understand our subconscious needs as a whole. The metaphor itself is fairly unimportant; it’s what matters is what it does, not what it looks like. It could be unicorns and rainbows, it could be a city or a planet, it’s just that apparently we find the sentient goo easiest to understand.

Then you have the House. That is a conscious creation; we specifically imagined and built it. This was us enforcing rules and our own mental language on our imaginary landscape; instead of just being tossed around by the vagaries of our subconscious and letting it do whatever it wanted, we were directly interacting and dealing with our mind consciously. The Void is our subconscious’s way of interacting with us; the House is our way of interacting with it. Plus it just gave us ways to have our own internal space, our own mental privacy.

All of this landscape, for us, is a metaphor. All of its significance is mainly symbolic, a way to create order from the random chaos of our brain’s urges and needs. It is a tool, rather than a true world on its own. We know some multis whose headspaces are NOT like this, and that’s fine. This is purely us and our experience.

March 2017

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