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I am cold, cranky, and my brain is hitching in that special way that tells me I probably shouldn't be at work right now.  (Don't tell me to go home.  Mornings are always the hardest, and at this point, it'd be HARDER for me to drag my ass the hour commute home than it would be to wait it out.)

Last year, I did pornathon.  Y'all remember that.  Well, it was so much fun, and with V-Day coming up, I decided to do a similar thing this year, only instead of porn, it's love.

So, gimme a prompt to write love for, and I'll do it. (Better than Laurell K. Hamilton, even!) In the spirit of the thing, I highly encourage you to give me prompts for love that our traditional Valentine's Day ignores: poly, ace, what have you.  I will do fanfic if you request it, but keep in mind that it'll have to be a fandom we know. (Primarily: Justice League International and Unlimited, Empowered... my brain isn't working so hot right now, so just ask if we know it and I'll let you know.  Superheroes, animated movies, and random books are your best bets.)

I can't promise speed, due to lack of Internet, but I'm hoping to have 'em done by Valentine's Day, after which I'm headed to New Orleans and out of range.

So!  Loveathon!  Make me write something gooshy, y'all!

--Rogan

The First Mythic War! (part one)

Date: 2012-03-03 02:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lb-lee.livejournal.com
It had all started with the first Mythic War. The legendary Greeks and Romans had joined forces against the Seculars—a ragtag band of ninjas, robots, zombies, and vampires—in a battle for pop culture supremacy of the consciousness of the Western world.

Captain Crankshaft and Roboat had been part of the Navy, of course. Crankshaft's title wasn't purely decorative; he was a decorated veteran of the Steam/Cyberpunk war a few years earlier, and Roboat was a mechanical quinquereme in the Punic style, good on the water but new to the battlefield. It needed tactical direction, and Captain Crankshaft needed a ship. (His had been sunk early in the proceedings by a thunderbolt.)

Together, they served with distinction, a massive warship crewed by two. The Romans had their own warships, of course, but human oarsmen couldn't react as quickly as Roboat's engines. The Romans, no fools, knew Roboat's primary weakness was its captain and attempted to attach themselves to the ship to overrun it, but Crankshaft knew his military history and had no intention of reenacting the First Punic War. Besides, he and Roboat had a chronological advantage: a Tesla cannon. (Tesla was one of the Seculars' greatest unsung inventors.) It was a rout.

There were a few tight spots, of course. The Tesla cannon required an inordinate amount of Roboat's power, making it cumbersome to use, and it was strictly short-range, requiring a ram-and-run approach. The Romans greatly disapproved of the guerilla tactics, and they expressed it militantly. Crankshaft lost a leg to a Roman sword, and Roboat needed repairs constantly. They were despised and reviled, loathed and hated.

They were in love.

It'd been an accident. Cupid or Eros (who could ever tell them apart?) had gotten involved in the naval battle, shooting arrows from a distance. (Gods, of course, were immortal, but that didn't mean getting hit with a Tesla cannon was pleasant to them.) He was aiming for Crankshaft but at the last minute, Crankshaft's peg leg skidded against the deck. Still unused to the prosthetic, the captain stumbled, and the arrow sunk into Roboat's deck. Crankshaft hesitated to ask, “Are you--?” and Roboat declared through its speaking tubes, “Fine! I'm fine! Achaeans on the port bow!”

Turned out robots could lie too. Just not very well.

The battle ended with Roboat and Crankshaft hastily retreating into the deep water. Though for short distances, Roboat's speed was comparable to human rowers, it never tired, and could maintain it longer. Once they were a safe distance away, Crankshaft stumped below decks to make repairs and assess damages.

“Where were Captains Ahab and Nemo?” Crankshaft grumbled as he hammered a dent out of Roboat's hull. “I thought Uhura said they'd be there by now.”

“I received a transmission from Lieutenant Uhura during the battle,” Roboat replied absently. “Seems they got tangled up with a whale and a squid.”

Crankshaft rolled his eyes. “Oh aye, in the Mediterranean, no doubt. Damned literaries, you'd think they'd bloody well move on after a hundred years...”

“Quite,” Roboat said, but its speaking tubes seemed to lack vigor.

“Here now, that arrow had me worried,” Crankshaft said. “The gods are wretched blaggards, but they shoot straight. Eros does hate too, eh? I--”

“Don't worry,” Roboat said awkwardly. “It... wasn't that kind.”

Crankshaft paused, hammer in hand.

“Don't worry about it,” Roboat urged. “I don't think it worked as well on my systems as it would've on yours, and there are far more pressing things than my sudden infatuation with you. It'll pass.”

Captain Crankshaft hesitated. He'd never been a romantic fellow, but combat made fast friends, and Roboat was a good entity. “If there's anything I can do...” he started awkwardly.

“Well... if you could hammer a bit to the right—ah! Yes, that's better, thank you.”

Re: The First Mythic War! (part two)

Date: 2012-03-03 02:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lb-lee.livejournal.com

And thus the war continued. Certainly things were a little awkward—suddenly it seems a little... intimate to mess about with Roboat's engine—but self-preservation was a good distraction. Crankshaft never forgot Roboat's situation, but he did grow to accept it. As for Roboat itself, it never spoke about it, but it became a fury on the aquatic battlefield, a demon of churning oars and sparking cannon. After all, it wasn't just fighting for itself and Secular ideals anymore; it was fighting for someone it loved too.

On the whole, the situation was politely ignored until one fateful day when the Roman fleet herded them straight towards Scylla and Charybdis. Roboat was faster over distance, but not nearly enough to duck the herd, and as they headed towards the proverbial rock and a hard place, it looked that their days were done.

“It has been an honor to serve you, Cap'n,” Roboat said, in the odd disjointed voice it got when it was sparing power to row.

Captain Crankshaft stood very straight on the bow, watching the dread choice loom closer and closer. “Roboat, I haven't been completely honest with ye.”

“Captain?”

“I've loved you since the moment I set foot on ye. You're a marvelous boat, and a fine mechanical person.”

Roboat was threshing through the water at full speed, so couldn't spare much steam for its tubes, but its voice blared. “And you never said?”

“I'm not an emotive man,” Crankshaft gruffed. “I've lost too many loves to the battlefield. I... just wanted ye to know. In case we don't survive. Now, can you outpace Charybdis?”

“I don't know; it's in full strength. And I can't spare power for the cannon.”

“We'll take Scylla then. And forget the cannon; the beastie's got five more heads. We'll just have to try and outrun it. At the worst, at least we'll die a proper death together. Maybe ye can choke the damned thing.”

“Aye aye, Captain.”

That was all the time they had. Roboat needed all its power for speed, and Crankshaft had to bolt below decks to man the boilers.

Roboat never pushed itself so hard. Its pipes screamed. The heat warped pipes, burnt Crankshaft's skin as he frantically shoveled coal. Warning klaxons wailed. Rivets burst.

Scylla only got time to tear out two chunks of hull as they shot by.

They didn't have time to celebrate. The Romans were behind, forced to navigate around their own monsters, but that wouldn't stop them long, and Roboat was taking on water fast, a quarter of its mechanical oars dragging uselessly due to burst pipes. Crankshaft bolted back and forth, alternately bailing and repairing. Roboat rowed on, too battered to even spare the steam to speak.

“Well done, you marvel,” Crankshaft bellowed as he welded and waded. “Truly no beastie on earth can rival you!”

Roboat could not speak, but its engines thrummed weakly.

They fled until dusk, repaired until dawn, and by noon, they were married.

If Eros disapproved, he never let on.

Re: The First Mythic War! (part two)

Date: 2012-03-03 03:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jimnightmare.livejournal.com
THAT WAS EPIC. YAY! :D
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