lb_lee: Tiny scribbly man waving his arms while the yellow background is filled with red naughty words (ffffff)
Okay, okay, so here’s the plot of Virtual Mode, the Piers Anthony book that has made me so fucking mad.

Colene is a fourteen-year-old girl who’s suicidal and has BPD.  The primary expression of both of these things is that she feels a deep craving to tantalize adult men with her body--stripping naked in front of them, flashing them, showing off her boobs, offering to sell her body, that kind of thing.  The first physical characteristic that is described to the reader (besides her slashed up wrists) are her boobs.

Don’t worry, Piers Anthony makes sure to tell you in elaborate detail how hot her tits are.

Rape, incest, and general awfulness behind the cut because Piers Anthony is awful and I AM SO ANGRY. )
lb_lee: Raige making a horrified face. (D:)

What time is it?  Time for another post about Piers Anthony!  Haven't talked about him in a few years.

Piers Anthony is a speculative fiction writer who OWNED our tiny little geek soul from roughly the ages of 8-14.  I mean, none of our other childhood creators compared.  We owned... *counts* twenty-one of his Xanth books, and at least thirteen from other series, and I don’t even KNOW how many others of his books we read at the library.  God, when I think of the MONEY we blew as kids on that guy...
 

Creepy pedopologia and horse-sex behind the cut, because Piers Anthony, man. )
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, surrounded by a circle and the words LB Lee. (#59428217)
Raige: Welcome back to Zombie Lover, where everything's made up and the plots don't matter. In our last chapter, it took twenty pages for three kings to decide to go to the moon so they can learn everything we already learned in the first chapter.

Thomas: They also got nearly imprisoned by sexy women because apparently men get paralyzed by boobs and underwear in these books. Thanks, Piers Anthony, for ruining the word 'panties' for me forever.

Raige: Now, here in Chapter Three, we run into a problem.  We've been skipping padding, so... well... there's no MST for chapter three. Or chapter four.

No zombies, but lots of card games! Also introducing the long-awaited PERVY TREE! )
lb_lee: Raige making a horrified face. (D:)
Raige: Welcome back to 'Zombie Lover,' where the dead are rising.

Thomas: If you know what we mean.

But there are no zombies here.  )
lb_lee: a scribbly child hissing and flailing (gigi)
Thomas: Why are we here? We lost, remember? Fifty Shades of Bears beat us.

Raige: Oh come on, just because ONE book gets the best of us doesn't mean we're done forever. And... this one I have a personal beef with.

M.D.: Hoo boy. Anne McCaffrey?

Raige: *sheepish* Piers Anthony.

M.D.: Oh no.

Thomas: Piers who?

M.D.: He writes about sex with horses.

But we promise, not in this one! )
lb_lee: Raige making a horrified face. (D:)
I have mentioned before the creepiness of Piers Anthony.  But I hadn't touched any of his books in years.  My memory is fallible, so I decided to pick up one of the old Xanth books and see if it really was as skeezy as all that.

Read more... )
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