lb_lee: Tiny scribbly man waving his arms while the yellow background is filled with red naughty words (ffffff)
[personal profile] lb_lee
Okay, okay, so here’s the plot of Virtual Mode, the Piers Anthony book that has made me so fucking mad.

Colene is a fourteen-year-old girl who’s suicidal and has BPD.  The primary expression of both of these things is that she feels a deep craving to tantalize adult men with her body--stripping naked in front of them, flashing them, showing off her boobs, offering to sell her body, that kind of thing.  The first physical characteristic that is described to the reader (besides her slashed up wrists) are her boobs.

Don’t worry, Piers Anthony makes sure to tell you in elaborate detail how hot her tits are.

Colene’s also a rape victim.  But the book implies it’s her fault because she led them on by dating one of them, so when he boozed her up and then gang-raped her with his buddies, she couldn’t have expected anything better. After all, that’s what happens to thirteen-year-olds who date.

She finds Darius mugged off the side of the road and helps him recover.  She fucking feeds him, houses him, washes him, combs his fucking hair, and buries his piss and shit.  He is roughly twenty years old and he’s already been divorced twice.

See, Darius comes from a magical, lovely world that only exists because it mooches off the energy of other dimensions, and it requires special people to do all this basic shit that we take for granted.  Like, Darius’s fucking JOB, what makes him so fucking important, is he gives people emotions.  Seriously, nobody on his fucking planet can generate their own happiness, they need HIM to do it.  And his wives are fucking emotion-batteries that he drains to generate joy for all humanity.

(This is all intended to be a metaphor about the creative process.  Did I mention Piers Anthony is extremely unprofessional?  Because he is.)

But Darius wants to marry one woman!  For LOOOOOVE!  So he goes to another world looking for the magic undrainable happy lady, and he gets Colene.  After two weeks, they decide they’re in Super Fantastic True Love!  And Colene risks being raped for a week to get his magical MacGuffin back so he can go home.  She does not tell him, because oh yeah, he thinks she’s “pure” and “unsullied” and would be DEEPLY OFFENDED that she risked her precious hymen for him.

But it doesn’t matter because then he finds out that Colene is suicidal, and he’s like EW I CAN’T MARRY YOU YOU AREN’T THE MAGICALLY UNDRAINABLE HAPPY LADY and she’s like, “Yeah, even though I went through hell and high water to get this MacGuffin back, I don’t actually believe it works, I just think you’re delusional, lolz,” and he disappears on home and she starts sobbing like NOOOO WHY DIDN’T I BELIEVE YOU DARIUS I AM SO SORRY

And she immediately decide it’s time to kill herself, because she literally has no reason to live except THIS chucklefuck, who seriously says that he can’t marry her because she’s mentally ill, but says that he’d make her a FUCKING SERVANT in his FUCKING CASTLE, with no expectations of monogamy or anything (BUT HE TOTALLY LOVES HER AND IS GREAT). (Oh, but he expects HER to remain “pure” it’s just HIM who gets to fuck around.)

Did I mention in Darius’s world, women have to wear diapers to conceal their naughty area?  And they’re specifically called diapers?  Yeah, that’s a thing.

Anyway, Darius decides he loves Colene too much, he has to be with her and make her his servant, but he can’t go back because Idiot Plot, so they have to go on this inter-dimensional journey to see each other.  On the way, he fucks two other women, but Colene is the one who has to apologize and grovel to him because she lies to the villain to save all reality. (And also the book specifically says that expecting Darius to keep it in his pants is impossible because HE’S A MANNNNNN)

And the author’s note says that Colene’s problem is her “lack of integrity.”

There’s also a cat woman named Pussy, the whole thing in the author’s note where Piers Anthony calls father/daughter incest “playing with them,” and implies that the problem is that the dads just never grow out of playing with their daughters, which becomes incest because WHO DOESN’T LOVE PLAYING WITH THEIR KIDS RIGHT????

I’m so mad.  I am so fucking mad.  We OWNED this book.  We paid MONEY for it as kids.  We LOVED it.

AAAAAAAAAAAH

Date: 2017-05-25 08:04 pm (UTC)
conuly: (Default)
From: [personal profile] conuly
This probably will not shock you to hear, but Piers Anthony is almost certainly a pedophile. You might be better off not reading (or re-reading) any more of his books. They don't get any better.

Date: 2017-05-25 08:56 pm (UTC)
conuly: (Default)
From: [personal profile] conuly
Oh good. Or not.
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